Wednesday, 18 March 2015

Air Canada


I am sitting here on hold with Air Canada customer service. If ever there was a misnomer, this would be it. I have been waiting "just a moment" for twenty five minutes now and things don't seem to be progressing at all. I knew this going in, but I was hopeful. I suppose it is like being a Maple Leaf fan just before every game.

We know better than to fly Air Canada, but they offered the best connections at the time and to tell the truth an Air Canada flight has an infinitesimally better service once you are on the plane. Well, I hope that nothing has changed. The "best connections" have changed twice since booking and now who knows what we could have gotten.

This recording on the phone keeps going on and on about how good Air Canada is and how its customers are the most satisfied flyers on this or any other planet. I'd pay good money if this son of a bitch would shut his mouth. It is possible that I am having my mind erased thru some kind of hypnosis and when I finally get a "service representative" I'll stammer and stumble over my words eventually telling them what a wonderful airline Air Canada is and how I am more satisfied with them than any other airline on this planet or any other.

I know that Air Canada is a terrible airline and the only reason it is still in business is because the government supports it financially and politically. They must have pictures of the Prime Minister while he was joining the "mile high club" with a goat or chicken.

It's now about forty minutes and still not even a hint that I will be talking with a human in the foreseeable future. Since I'll never be able to talk to one of their representatives, maybe you can help me. The first two legs of our flight we were able to pre select our seats, but the third and longest leg is run by United Airlines and we can't pick our seats until we get to the airport. We had kind of hoped to sit together. United is possibly the only airline worse than Air Canada in this world or any other.

I'm going to kill this guy if he keeps talking!!!!

I'm going to kill myself if I don't get to talk to a human!

I wonder how long the battery on my phone will last?

I wonder if this will be worth the effort?

No...you're right; I should just hang up now and not waste another second.

Okay, ten more minutes and then I'm going to bed. Wait! He just said an agent will be with me shortly. That's the thirteenth time, isn't thirteen lucky?

......................help................help................forget it, just let me go............


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