Saturday 22 March 2014

No Ass Kissing in the Afterlife

Just before Louise and I arrived at Tim Horton’s this morning for a coffee, there was a news report that I knew would be the perfect thing to write about for the blog. The news was interesting with just the right amount of quirkiness to suit me. I was looking forward to writing about it. I could have jotted down a note about it, but it was so perfect, there was no way I could have forgotten about it.

I forgot!

I’ve been through several newspapers and listened to the radio in the hopes that I would hear it again. Normally, I hear the same news so often; I can and do recite it word for word. Well, except for today. No luck and no idea for the blog. Well…SHIT!!!

I know I don’t have one of those minds that can visualize the chess board seven moves into the future. I don’t have a mind that can plan the perfect invasion, so I am no good at the game of Life. I don’t have the kind of mind that is able to weigh all of the factors in a problem and make the right decision. I am easily distracted by electronic, shiny things. I suppose that I have an average or below average brain.

Even with a below average brain, I should be able to remember one thing that I am actually interested in, shouldn’t I?

I’ve tried to carry a small pad around with me in order to make a note of interesting things and occurrences during the day, but often I will forget to bring it with me. Even when I have the pad, there is no sense in jotting down a reminder, because how could I possibly forget something this cool?

I wonder if when I am reborn, I might request a body with a brain that can remember things. Not everything, that would be greedy, but to remember the important things would be nice. I wonder whose ass I need to kiss to get the right brain in my next life. No, don’t tell me, because dollars to donuts I’ll forget the name before I die. Just before I die! I’ll be there looking at all of the souls in the afterlife and I won’t have a clue who I should talk to.

With any luck, the souls in charge of the Akashic record are reading this and they will be able to remind me whose ass I was supposed to kiss. Mind you, if they already know that I plan to kiss their ass, more than likely it will be a waste of time.

No ass kissing in the after life for me I suppose.

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