Wednesday 18 December 2013

Make Up The Spare Room

I have heard that there are people in the world who don’t believe that water can solidify in any shape larger than a cube. I imagine they would be dumbfounded to see a whole lake frozen solid enough for huts to be built on it and cars and trucks to drive on the surface. I’m sure they couldn’t think of any reason why anyone would want to build a hut or drive a car on the lake. Personally, I don’t get it either.

Several years ago, a neighbour swapped homes and jobs with an Australian fireman for a year. One cold winter day I looked out the bedroom window and saw him, his wife and their two visiting adult children looking up and down the alley. I went out and found that they had never seen that much ice and couldn’t believe that anyone in their right mind would drive on it. Personally, I don’t get it either.

There are people who can’t imagine snow falling from the sky like it does in one of those cute snow globes, let alone 3 feet of it like Muskoka received last week. My daughter had a friend whose family moved to Texas and she was given a detention for lying when she told the class that in Canada it got so cold they had to plug the cars in to keep them warm so they would be able to start. That teacher was taken to school by an irate mother.

The reason that I mention this is that I am sitting in a Tim Horton’s waiting for Hurricane and Tornado to finish school so that I can pick them up and take them home. I have some cookies and candy that is crying out for some kids to eat it. Their mom and dad might just be a little slow getting home today since it is snowing, again, and the roads are just horrendous. I have mentioned before that the city crews who clear the streets of snow are complete and utter tools that haven’t a clue how to efficiently and effectively clear snow from the streets. These assholes couldn’t brush the snow off of their own coats without hiring a private contractor.

I have this anger building in me at the cold weather generally and snow in particular. There is a part of me that really enjoys winter, but it is the only part of me that seems to be shrinking. We should never have gone to Hawaii! On cold days I would come home from work and go to this web cam to watch Waikiki Beach, but that was small screen Hawaii. When you are there, it is a 3-D experience with smell-o-vision, touch-o-vision and shave ice-o-vision. The water is warm, inviting and surprisingly I am not bothered one whit that the fish and turtles urinate in the water with wild abandon.

I suppose I am just venting and sort of day dreaming about being warm without wrapping a blanket around myself or wearing five layers of clothes. Hawaii is a distant dream, but BC is a doable option. I have several friends that live on Vancouver Island and I’m sure that I would be welcomed for a prolonged stay till say May…ish? Make up the spare room Brian I’m coming to lotus land if this fucking weather doesn’t improve.

1 comment:

  1. Come on down Ken to lotus land and escape that horrible Siberia type weather. We are still waiting for arrival of our first snowfall this fall. Last Sunday we still had mason bees flying around the yard checking out the last few flowers available! We might see a bit snow of tonight but the rain will wash that away tomorrow afternoon. Don't miss those nightmare roads that winter brings to Alberta. Keep warm my friend. B