Sunday, 19 August 2012

They Will Do Just Fine



Well, I got screwed over by the Muslims today.

They didn’t set out to screw me over, but screw me over they did. Perhaps I should start at the beginning. Louise and I decided to go for a coffee at Tim Horton’s and since Ramadan is over I was going to take Louise to see the huge party tent they had erected in the field by the Mosque. I saw them set it up last week and was amazed by the size. I have been to a travelling Cirque Du Soleil show and that tent would have fit in a corner at the Mosque tent. A small corner at that!

Everything went well until I turned onto the road of no return. Perhaps I should call it the road of no turning around. How was I to know that Ramadan didn’t end yesterday, but ended today? How was I to know that the service ended just minutes before? Whose idea was it to put a Tim Horton’s right by the Mosque? How could I have been so stupid? Yes, good questions all, but the fact remains that I am stuck in the middle of a bunch of starving Muslims desperately trying to find the nearest food. Well, that is what I would be doing after a month of fasting.

Later in the day when I was telling Brendan about this, I made the comment “Why would Mohammed form a religion that included all of the worst drivers in the world?” He corrected me and said that it was Budha. Yes, I am aware that is a horrible stereotype and there is a good chance the Muslims will declare Jihad on me and the Budhists will light some incense and say a prayer.

Honest to God, (whichever one you believe in) the traffic was just horrible. People were constantly cutting in front of you, making illegal turns, honking horns, walking so slowly across the street that I thought one old guy had passed away smack dab in the middle of the street. You would think they were all cab drivers….????......????

Eventually we made it to a side street and made our get away. For some reason, the side streets were more or less deserted. I suppose Muslims must believe that the shortest distance to anywhere is a straight line following everyone else. I kind of wished that I was in a helicopter looking down, because I know it would have looked like that ant hill on the front lawn when I step on it. Like I said, we made our escape and went to the next closest Tim’s. It was packed with some of the same people I had just seen by the Mosque, so we got back in the car and went to the next one. Three Tim’s later and half way across the city there was a Tim’s that had a normal Sunday line up.

Somehow, the coffee and everything bagel with herb and garlic cream cheese was just a trifle anti climactic. While I was eating and thinking about my narrow escape from religion, I looked up and noticed that the employees looked like they could have been Muslim. Perhaps they are Muslim like I am Christian. I won’t believe it till I see it and I won’t see it till I believe it. More likely, they will be going to the Mosque later or they had already been. I hope they find their way in the world and in the after life and if getting away from the Mosque today was any indication, they will do just fine.

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