Tuesday 21 August 2012

Ken Is Really Stupid

I don’t know why I do it, but for some reason I always seem to find myself waiting for Louise. This time, she told me that she would meet me in a “little while”, so since it was a beautiful morning I figured it would be better than going shopping with her.

For some inexplicable reason, I was to wait in the back alley of a small industrial area. Weird, but what are you going to do. I generally like being in back alleys because they are filled with interesting things that most other people don’t consider interesting at all. There are the beautiful flowers of course; some call them weeds but not me, as long as they are in someone else’s yard. An alley is chock full of discarded items and an alley in an industrial area actually has useful stuff. I filled my pockets with still useable rusted washers and screws, tie wraps, interesting bits of metal that might or might not be useful. Lots of string and wire, you can never have too many little bits of string and wire.

I was shuffling along, head down when I heard someone yell out “Hey you!” I looked up and a guy was waving me over. I made sure it was me that he wanted and I walked over and asked if I could help him. He told me that his helper called in sick for the third time this week (the lazy little prick) and asked if I would mind giving him a hand moving some steel pipe onto his truck.

It seemed an odd request, but I really had nothing better to do, so I said “Sure, if you have a pair of gloves. My hands are pretty delicate and I might want to play the piano tonight.” He handed me some gloves and we started to work. It only took about ten minutes and in that time I had a very nice chat with Paulo. He thanked me and said that I was a life saver. He called out to the building and a woman with a hairnet came out and he talked to her in some language that definitely wasn’t English. Paulo said that Luce will bring out some meat and I was to help myself to whatever I wanted. Then he hopped in the truck and took off.

Luce dropped a whole side of some animal on the ground in front of me, smiled and went back in the building. It was really weird looking; one side of the meat was hamburger and the other side ribs. I pushed what must have been fifty pounds hamburger off to one side and got down to the ribs. I pulled out my pocket knife to start cutting the ribs into manageable pieces. Just then, Luce came out and scooped up all of the hamburger and the ribs, and went back into the building. I called out, but she just ignored me. Maybe she is packaging it up for me.

I have no real use for that much meat, and to tell you the truth, it was pretty dirty after being on the ground. I wonder if Luce was washing it. How would I explain this to Louise? I was covered in bloody bits of hamburger and I was starting to think that Luce wasn’t ever coming back. Fuck! I was had! This just goes to show, no good deed goes unpunished. I shook my arms and all of the hamburger bits and blood came off. That’s just not possible. The only way you could do that was if you were in a dream.

Ahhhh shit!

Dream Ken is really stupid.

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