Monday 23 July 2012

I Had Better Get Going

Last week at my daughters place over dinner, Hurricane asked "Mommy....can I get an eye patch one day?"
I am not sure where that would even come from, but I wouldn’t mind having an eye patch either. I actually did have an eye patch when I was a little kid, but it was due to sand or a finger in the eye I think. It might have even been an optometrist’s way to strengthen the weak eye by covering the strong one. Interesting theory, but looking back, I have the feeling I was playing the part of the guinea pig and the doctor was Dr. Frankenstein.

It wasn’t even a cool eye patch! It was flesh coloured plastic (assuming the flesh you are talking about was on Barbie) and had a lot of holes in it. I guess that is so my eye could breathe. It was over a folded wad of gauze which was taped on my face over that good eye. It really looked stupid. Well, I think it looked stupid, but remember I was looking through a “lazy” eye that was now doing the work of two good eyes. I am pretty sure the doc didn’t think this through.

After a while, I can remember trying to colour it black with a felt marker, but instead of black it turned kind of a greeny, puke grey. My idea had been that if I was going to wear an eye patch, then at least I should look tough like a pirate. Not only did I not look tough, I looked even dumber than I had before colouring the patch. When I asked for another patch, mom and dad told me that patches didn’t grow on trees. Well Fuck, I know that! I wasn’t asking them to find a magical “Patch” tree which would most likely grow beside the “Money” tree dad always talked about, I just wanted them to go and get me another patch for my lazy god damned eye!

It’s possible they wanted me to look stupid. I didn’t get another patch of course and if I remember correctly, I lied to the doctor the next time I saw him and said everything was good in my life, eye-wise. I can probably trace a lifetime of wearing glasses to that lie. Perfect!

Of course Hurricanes mom didn’t get him an eye patch and I haven’t had the opportunity so far this week. I might take a trip to the costume store tomorrow, or maybe I can make one out of some pieces of leather I have in the basement.

There is an interesting side note to the whole eye patch episode. This week Hurricane is at a sailing camp. He is learning to sail! That means he could one day be a pirate. I had better get going on that eye patch!

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