Tuesday 24 July 2012

Clipping The Hair From a Dog’s Penis

Instead of writing the blog tonight, I got caught up in “America’s Got Talent”. Boy do they ever have talent! I think that for the most part, the acts that have gotten this far will definitely be able to pursue their dreams. They can’t all win the million bucks and headline a show in Vegas, but all of the acts have received an amazing amount of exposure and the agents that are watching will be courting these acts for their own shows. Good for them! I wish them all well.

I will make this short tonight because I am tired and really have little to say.

The only thing of note that I did today was to wash Buster. He is one of those dogs that don’t particularly like getting his feet wet, let alone his whole body. It is a good thing that he wasn’t born a retriever or his parents would have been so ashamed. That isn’t as big a deal as it is with humans, because his dad is a bastard and his mom is a bitch. If he would lick his fur like a cat, he could have avoided the bath, but there is only one area on his body that he likes to lick. I don’t blame him, and truthfully I am a little jealous, but it makes me feel dirty when I watch him.

I have tried to get him to wear deodorant but he is very reluctant. I even offered him mine, but he likes the roll on which you can’t get any more and all I have is the stick. He doesn’t like to be sprayed with Fabreeze and he won’t sit outside in a rainstorm, so a bath it is.

He was pretty well behaved and put up with the indignity pretty well. Okay, he didn’t have much of a choice since I out weigh him about 20 to 1. I lathered him up and then rinsed him off. I figured that I would wrap him in a towel and take him outside where he can shake till he dries himself off. Just before we got outside the little bastard shook and basically soaked me. Great, now we both smell like wet dog! He ran around and shook and ran and shook and ran and shook, until he wasn’t dripping any more. I attempted to dry him with the hair dryer, but I guess Buster figures getting pushed around by me once was more than enough.

Later I decided to trim the hair around his penis. It gets long and matted (due to the licking I suppose) and the hair just holds the urine when he pees. I have no shame, because I am the one that carries his shit around every morning. I got him on his back on my lap and although he struggled at first, he calmed right down when he realized I had a pair of scissors by his “willy wonka”. The last time some guy had scissors down their, he lost his testicles and I am sure he didn’t want to lose what was left. When I was done, he jumped off of my lap and ran outside.

I have to admit that it was more than a little weird clipping the hair from a dog’s penis.

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