Sunday 11 September 2011

The Land of Misfit Shoes and Socks

Sometimes I have a plan about what I am going to write in the blog, and other times I just sit here and hope for the best. I would imagine that it isn’t very difficult to tell which one is which. Unfortunately for you, tonight is one of those, hope for the best nights. Sorry! Just give me a minute....

Have you ever been walking along a street and noticed a stray sock or shoe lying by the side of the road? Buster and I are out walking on a regular basis and we have seen our share of abandoned socks and shoes. The odd time you will see shirts, blouses, coats and the odd pair of panties. I have never seen briefs or boxers abandoned. I wonder why that is?

I have seen gloves and scarves which actually make sense. Someone tries to put their glove in a pocket when they answer their cell and it just slips out. Should have had those “idiot strings” on the gloves. By the time the call is ended they have gone too far to go back and get it or they forget that it is cold. That must have been a pretty good call. The scarves are notorious for falling off. You can tie them tightly, but then you get a little over heated and loosen them and before you know it they drop off and are buried in the fresh snowfall. Oh well, you probably didn’t like that scarf that much anyways. You never hear about anyone using “idiot strings” for scarves. I wonder why not?

I would pay good money to find out how you can lose a sock and not notice. The same goes for the shoes. Socks are notorious for slipping down and ending up in a bunch at your ankle, but rarely do they ease themselves off the foot and out of the shoe. You know, I can remember wearing rubber boots and the sock actually did come off in the boot, but it didn’t ever actually escape. Perhaps the socks are made of some kind of smart material nowadays. Let’s just say for the sake of argument, that the sock slips off of your foot and makes it out of the shoe. Now what? Where is it going to go? Who wants just one sock? I guess someone like Terry Fox, but then how would a sock know where to look for a one legged man? Perhaps that’s why I see them on the road, abandoned and forlorn. I imagine that after a day or two of freedom they are looking to come back to the warmth of a shoe and eventually a dryer.

I can understand shoes to a certain degree, but if I lost a shoe while I was walking I am very sure that I would notice it immediately. There is a chance that you could be drunk enough to actually walk out of a shoe. I remember a time when I was at a party and when it came time to leave I gathered up my shoe. Hmmmm.... didn’t I have two when I came in? Yes, I am sure that I did. Upon closer inspection I found a tiny look-a-like shoe in the pile by the door. Someone (Norma), must have been so drunk that she didn’t notice that one of the shoes she wore home was twice the size of the other one. Thankfully, she didn’t walk out of it and the next day I managed to get it back. I guess a shoe could have fallen off of the roof of the car, but then what was it doing on the roof in the first place?

Eventually these wayward socks and shoes disappear from the road. I like to think that they go to a place where individual socks and shoes can run and play in the country with others of their kind where they get to play in dryers and have all of the shoe polish that they can dream of.

The Land of Misfit Shoes and Socks.


  1. This article is a SHOE in for a Pulitzer prize for literatue, OK maybe not but it does make one think well some what anyway! If I were to find panties on my dog walks here on Van. island they would be granny panties most certainly, and most likely shook loose from the latest earthquake. We do see huge ripe sweet black berries everywhere, and are great with ice cream or as a pie. B

  2. Don't you have a little video about what happens to socks?

  3. I do have a video of what happens to socks and if you had younger eyes you would have seen it at the bottom of the blog.

    Ripe sweet blackberies? I would have thought that the earthquakes would have shaken them off of the bushes.