Monday 12 September 2011

I’m Changing My Name

Brian’s father is millionaire Robert McCarthy, the president of Marriot group. Unlike his father who got his money the easy way (by working for it) Brian earned his money the hardest way imaginable. He won it!

Twenty five year old Brian McCarthy recently won 107 million dollars in New York’s Mega Millions lottery. Yea Brian!!!

From what I have read, Brian is a pretty level headed young man that has already donated to charities and because of his upbringing is pretty unlikely to go nuts and buy drinks for North Dakota, South Carolina and Iowa. Some people might wonder why a guy with his wealth would even buy a lotto ticket, but not me. I can think of a few reasons for him to buy tickets.

It would probably piss his parents off that he is just throwing good money away on the governments “Stupid Tax”. They would be right of course, because I think the chances of winning one of those Mega lotteries is about one in a hundred million. There is no way you can win with odds like that. Well, unless your name is Brian McCarthy.

It is just possible that Young Brian has a severe form of dermatitis and he bought the scratch tickets in order to perfect his scratching technique. Nothing can be more irritating than an itch that you just can’t scratch. I guess you could get someone to scratch your body, if your name is Brian McCarthy.

Maybe he wanted to impress his father, and get into the hotel business. His big idea is to have a hotel with unique theme rooms. Like the live lobster room where you can eat all of the lobsters that you can catch. Perhaps he would have a “guess the smell” room, where the guests get a Smell Passport and try to identify all of the different smells that you find in a hotel room. Of course there would be the “Loser Room” which would be decorated like a Las Vegas casino and have the walls papered with losing lottery tickets. You could do this if your name was Brian McCarthy.

Maybe Brian was trying to recapture his youth by using cloths pins to hold a lottery ticket so that it would make an engine sound when he pedaled his bike. I bet hundred dollar bills would make a nice sound. You could find out if your name was Brian McCarthy.

Perhaps he was recently charged with the rape of a hotel maid and he needed a few million to buy off the DA, the cops, the judge, the witnesses and the press. This would all be possible if your name was Brian McCarthy.

I guess that the real reason is that Young Brian isn’t really any different than you or I. He bought the ticket without thinking that he would actually win, and a miracle happened. The Gods looked down from heaven and decided that the mortal with the nice sounding name deserved to win the lottery. I don’t know about you, but when the courts open tomorrow I’m changing my name to Brian McCarthy.

1 comment:

  1. Take it from me having the first name Brian is not as great as you might think, and having spent 55+ years with it I know. I wish I had a dollar for every time I was asked if it was spelled with a Y or a I, and there always the misspelling of Brain on your cheques or being called Bryanne by a twit cashier! Nah stay with Ken and the odds are in your favor that you'll be happier, still poor just happier. B