Friday, 13 May 2011

The Job Finds Me

The problem with trying to do a daily blog is that my life, like most peoples lives is really pretty boring. There is a Cheech and Chong skit about a guy that had to read his essay for the class on how he spent his summer vacation.

TEACHER: Yes. Read your essay, please!
STUDENT: Uh, I don`t have it finished yet.
TEACHER: Well then, read what you have, young man!
STUDENT: Okay. The first day on my vacation, what I did on my summer vacation, the first day on my vacation, I woke up. Then, I went downtown to look for a job. Then I hung out in front of the drugstore. The second day on my summer vacation, I woke up, then I went downtown to look for a job. Then I hung out in front of the drugstore. The third day on my summer vacation, I woke up...
TEACHER: Now that`s fine, young man!
STUDENT : ...Then I went downtown to look for a job...
TEACHER: Now that`s fine, young man!
STUDENT : ...Then I got a job, keeping people from hanging and out in front of the drugstore. The fourth day on my...

Really, that is my life as a retired guy, except I am not looking for a job. The odd thing is a job found me. I was at my friends yesterday and he got a phone call. He said “No, no I can’t I am going on holiday but do you have a Ken Harrison on your list? Would you like to talk to him? Sure, just a minute.” Now, all of this time I am shaking my head and waving my arms and mouthing NO! I haven’t a clue what it is about but if he isn’t going to do it then why would I want to? For all that I know it could be the Jehovah’s witnesses or a political party doing a satisfaction survey. I haven’t been satisfied with any government for at least twenty years. This is what I get for spending time with people of questionable intelligence.

I take the phone and hold it to my ear “ Hello? Oh, yeah sure that would be fine. Yes I can be there tomorrow. Bye.” It turns out that it was the Post Office asking if I wanted to work for a couple of weeks in June. It is to do a volume count and I get paid for three hours, work about an hour and a half and still have my coffee by nine. I can deal with it. Now, the odd thing is that they need me to go and give them my fingerprints. I guess having my soul and the best part of my life isn’t enough. Hmmm.

So I thought I will ride my bike over and get some exercise, and do the paperwork. Sooner rather than later. Right?  There will probably be a strike towards the end of the month (hey, that could impact on my job) so my normal ways to enter the building have been locked up tight. These are the types of precautions they take. Normally you could walk through the plant with a balaclava on and a Santa sac full of parcels and no one would even look at you funny. Today I had to go in through the front door and give the security geek my ID. When I got to the HR office it was locked. WTF! Turns out they were at a meeting. This was information that would have been nice to know.

This gives me an opportunity to waste some more time tomorrow.

I wake up.
I go and look for a job.
Then I hang out at the Tim Horton’s…

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