Monday 19 August 2013


Let’s talk about parking today.

I was going to write about something else, but circumstances intervened and parking it is. I had to go out tonight to pick up a little something at the grocery store and get some gas for an early morning drive. When the garage door opened, someone visiting the neighbour had parked his truck so that it infringed on my backing out space. It is a minor piss off, but a piss off just the same. Just a few back and forths in the garage and I managed to get out without damage to my car or the truck.

When I got to the store, I pulled into a parallel spot and did my shopping. When I came out, someone pulled into the spot two in front of me. Well, they pulled into the two spots in front of me. It didn’t affect me at all other than I began to lament about the poor drivers that are populating our streets and highways. I can understand that parallel parking in a downtown area can be and is difficult without a certain amount of practice. This was just driving up to the curb and stopping and she screwed it up. You know, I kind of think she parked badly on purpose, she would have had to, to be that bad.
I know that there are a lot of people out there who have new or newish cars and are trying to avoid that first ding or scratch that will turn their brand new baby into “Old Scratchy”. In the old days, you would park at the outer edge of the parking lot and hike into the store. It was understood that people who parked out there did so for space and we generally gave it to them. Well, not at Christmas. Now the entitled bastards will angle park across two handicapped spots to ensure that no one comes close to them. They may as well, there is no one to penalize them, and the worst that will happen is that some old fart like me will give them a dirty look. I’m just a hair away from carrying a squirt gun filled with brake fluid with me and shooting these cars. That is an old strike trick from the picket line when scabs would drive through the line; it peels the paint off of the car.

I would never do that, or at least I would never admit that I did it in a blog, but sometimes it is fun to think evil thoughts. I don’t know what the answer for bad parking is, perhaps a law enforcement presence or random driving tests administered in parkades. I have mentioned before that I think the drivers test should have to be re-done every five years. I was tested 45 years ago and I’m sure I have forgotten or never learned important aspects of driving. I know those assholes that can’t park between the white lines painted on the pavement have forgotten what they mean.

A friend of mine started a facebook page called Airdrie Parkers which documents those idiot drivers that don’t know or don’t care how to park. Check it out; it is pretty funny and pretty sad at the same time.

When I got to the gas station, I only bought $10 worth of gas, because being the eternal optimist I’m hoping that the blood sucking bastards at the oil companies will have their tiny black hearts grow a size or two just like happened to the Grinch all those many years ago. It could happen, it should happen and it would happen if someone took a *%^%&*% and put it up their (*&^ and pulled the trigger. I don’t want anyone to think I am advocating violence against the oil company execs or the companies themselves. It wouldn’t bother me if something happened, I just don’t advocate it.

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