Sunday, 25 August 2013

Bill Gates’s Whore


I just read a new entry on facebook. It seems that Bill Gates wants to give everyone who shares his photo $5000. It goes on to say it’s no joke. Well, you don’t see me laughing do you?
 
I can believe that Bill Gates has nothing better to do that to spend all of his time writing checks to people who share his picture on facebook; so that even more people will share his picture and he can write them all checks as well. Why wouldn’t he? He is worth about 67 billion as of March according to Forbes magazine. I suppose it’s possible that he is only worth about $50,000,000,000 but in order to keep up with appearances he bought the Forbes publishing empire for about five hundred million so that he could stay the richest geek in the world.

I’m not sure why he so desperately wants his picture to circulate on facebook, but if he is willing to pay all of that cash out to perfect strangers, he must have a reason. Perhaps he has a bet on with Carlos Slim and Warren Buffet to see who can get the most hits on facebook. So far, I would imagine he is in the lead, but if Carlos or Warren make me a better offer, I’m their man. Yes, I am something of a money whore. I can be bought, but you have to keep upping the ante if you want me to stay bought. Right now I am Bill Gates whore.
 
Quite a few months ago, I “liked” the apple iPad. In honour of Steve Jobs death, if you “liked” the page or shared it, you would be sent a new apple iPad. I’m still waiting for the iPad by the way. I don’t even care if it is a new one, I would be happy with one of those reconditioned jobs. I appreciate that there were probably a lot of requests, but it has been quite a long while now and I think I have been pretty patient. I’m starting to think it is all a hoax and I will never see the iPad.
 
I am getting older, and us old geezers are susceptible to scam artists that prey on the elderly. Just the other day in the paper I read about two older women who sent this guy in Europe over $300,000 between them because he asked them to. Because…he…asked…them…to. I gather that they both were in love with this guy (long distance) and he needed some cash to buy some diamonds or sell some diamonds, but he would pay them back in a week or two. If anyone asks me how stupid women are, I now have a story that I can relate.

I realize that these people are silver tongued devils, but “I love you and incidentally, I’ll need to borrow $150,000 to buy some diamonds which I’ll sell in a day or so for double the money.” Long distance! I know what my reaction would be. Hahahahahahahaha.

“I don’t even buy myself underwear, there isn’t a snowballs chance in hell I’ll give you money for diamonds.”

I have always believed that you can’t cheat and honest man. You can’t cheat someone if they aren’t greedy and you can’t cheat someone that is sceptical about pretty much everything. When I get one of those phone calls that start out “I’m John with Telus and we’d like to save you money.” I always pause and ask “tell me John, why is it that you are so concerned with saving me money? Wouldn’t it be better for Telus if you didn’t call me and just let me keep paying too much for my phone plan?”

It gets into a “he said, we said” kind of circular debate that always ends with one of us hanging up in frustration. I don’t blame John; he is getting paid by the call, not by the amount of abuse he takes. I’ve got nothing better to do than to harass John and “like” the picture of Bill Gates on facebook.




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