Sunday 24 March 2013


I was laying in bed this morning wondering if there is a word for doing something that you don’t like. 

I know the Germans made up a word, “Doppelganger” which basically means that you see a double of yourself. I’m not sure if the world is ready for two of me, but it would be nice to have someone that knows exactly what I mean. Why would the Germans of all the races need a special word for this? It probably has something to do with too much beer and bratwurst on a Saturday night.

We often do things that we don’t want to do, I believe that is what you would call civilized. I’m probably not being as clear as I would like to be, what I am talking about is when there is something that you have to do and actually want to do, but dread the thought of doing it. For instance, when there is a wedding or a party of some kind that you know will have good food, an open bar and good friends. There will be lots of laughing and good times, but just the thought of getting dressed and driving to the venue is a pain in the ass. I suppose that it could be me. In fact, now that I think about it, I might be one of the few that feel this way.

I’ll be sitting here thinking about food and what I should have for supper. I think of something that has my mouth watering and then I realize I’ll have to go out to the store to get it. I go and check the fridge to see if there was something delicious that I had missed, and the only thing that seems even vaguely edible is the green furry stuff at the back of the meat tray. When I get to the store, I find there is any number of delicious things that are nutritious and good for me too.

I find that I am beginning to feel this way about going on vacation. I will be in paradise, but I have to think about what I will need, make a list, pack and arrange a ride to the airport (done), check in, go through security, and then wait till the plane boards. There is the flight of course and I can only pray that I don’t have to use that tiny stainless steel bathroom for the five or six hours the flight will take. Who the hell designs those bathrooms anyways? Must be the same people that think all women are size two and all men spend half the day in the gym. I know that I won’t be able to last for the entire flight and eventually I will have to line up down the aisle with three or four others trying to look invisible. Everyone knows what you are doing and are thankful that they don’t have to line up. They will of course, but when they do, they will of course be invisible.
While I am waiting in line, I will pray that when I do use the bathroom I become God like and pray my shit doesn’t stink. When I do get into the tiny stainless steel room I realize that I should have prayed that the person in front of me was God like. I’ll wad some tissue up and plug my nose, hoping that the person that comes in after me won’t think that I wasn’t God like. I don’t fly enough to have ever gotten good at using these bathrooms, and invariably the “Fasten Seat Belts” sign will come on and I will be pressured into finishing early. Well, I won’t be able to finish at all due to performance anxiety which I’ll have to hope that stays with me till I deplane at my destination.

I know that I should try to live in the present and enjoy the very fact of my existence. I am so lucky to live the life I live and have the loving people around me that I do. Not everyone is as fortunate as I am, and I do understand this. If only I didn’t have to go anywhere to have this life.

I wonder if I can make up a word that applies to a situation where I have to do something I don’t really want to do until I get there.


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