Saturday 26 January 2013

Stupid Computer

Spider Soltiaire Set Up
I will often piss away my time playing solitaire on the computer. Specifically, I will play “Spider Solitaire”, and I have played it for the last two or three computers.

It is funny how I am starting to mark my life not in years, but in computers. I suppose that eventually we will all know that a computer will last three point five three years and automatically pick up a new one before we have to go through the crash and tears of losing all of our data. I have been thinking lately of trying to build a computer for fun and to have a spare for when one of our computers automatically decides to die. Wouldn’t it be nice to have all of the information and programs already loaded and up to date when the old one died? Fuck you HP/ASUS/Apple/Dell/Acer/Lenovo/IBM and Toshiba; I beat you at your own game! Yep, it would be nice.

Now, back to solitaire, it’s been at least three computers since I played any other form of solitaire and by accident today I clicked the mouse on the wrong solitaire. It was just the regular solitaire and I thought “What the hell, it might be fun.” Turns out that I had forgotten how regular solitaire is played. I picked it up all right, but only because every time I made a wrong move, the computer couldn’t wait to tell me. Know it all computer! I don’t know about you, but I do use the “hints” that the computer gives and more often than not it hints me into a losing game. I wonder if somewhere in the cloud there is a digital version of Las Vegas that only personal computers can go to and the games they play are to see how long they can keep us meat morons busy doing nothing. My computer probably gets his room and meals comped, and is a legend.

I got to thinking today how odd it is that I of all people would forget how to play solitaire. I played a lot of solitaire ten or twelve computers ago with cardboard cards and I didn’t call it “hints”, I called it what it was…cheating. Yes, I cheated at solitaire and I wasn’t very good at it. I enjoyed it though and there was a time when I searched out other types of solitaire to play. There was Pyramid solitaire, Golf solitaire, Yukon solitaire and hundreds of other types of solitaire invented by lonely people before the invention of personal computers. That isn’t fair, they probably weren’t lonely, just bored because there was no TV or computers to occupy their time. Sure, a lot of the folks back then did creative and productive things with their time, but there must have been people like me that just wanted to kill time as unproductively as possible.
Well, I could continue this blog or I could play a game of Spider Solitaire. I won’t play the regular solitaire because it is too hard and I think the computer is laughing at me. Stupid computer, at least I will live for decades and you only have 3.53 years, well about 2.74 years now.


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