Wednesday 26 December 2012

Mans Best Friend

I woke up today with a Boxing Day flu. It wasn't brought on by a Christmas Day drink, but rather having Hurricane and/or Tornado sneeze in my face. The moment it happened I could feel the virus thriving in my mucus membranes. They were having a reproduction party in my throat and nasal passages. Little microscopic pricks!

Whenever I get sick, I like to over medicate, drink plenty of fluids, feel sorry for myself and sleep. The good thing about owning a dog is that he will stay with you, keeping you company as you go through your sleep/wake periods. I would like to think he is there keeping an eye on my condition and if I took a turn for the worse he would go and alert Louise. He would drag her to my side and she would arrive in time to put in a call to 911 and thus save my life. If Louise weren’t around then I think he is smart enough to call 911 himself, but it would be better if Louise were around. Buster would truly be man’s best friend!

Then I got to thinking. Any of my human best friends would react in predictably the same way when I told them of my sickness. “That sucks! I hope you get better, but until you do, stay the fuck away from me!” That not only has been said to me, but is said with painful regularity. Another of my good friends will always say “Die you sick bastard you!” whenever I happen to sneeze or cough around her. Quite frankly, I don’t blame them and I feel much the same way when they get sick. What’s with Buster then?

He acts more like I would imagine a slave would act if the master was sick. Pretend to care, but keep an eye on how the illness is progressing and hope for the best (worst). I don’t think he would eat me if I died, well at least not right away. I still hope that Louise would notice that he didn't have any food in his bowl even if she didn't notice that I had been a little less talkative for the past week or two.

Every now and then today, Buster would sniff me and give me a lick. Now, I understand that dogs smell in colour (whatever the hell that means) and can tell a lot about another dog that had recently urinated on the bush. I suppose that it is possible that I smell like dog urine when I am sick, but I hope not. No, I think that Buster can tell the state of my health from my smell. He would smell and then kind of look disappointed and curl up while the two of us would drop off again. The licking I don’t even want to think about right now.

I’ll tell you that I am planning on sleeping with one eye open whenever I am sick from now on and Buster is on the bed. Mans best friend my ass! 

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