Friday 22 June 2012

Angry Birds

The older I get and the more knowledge that I accumulate, only seems to point out just how little I actually know.

I think that I am pretty smart sometimes but shortly after, someone or something will happen that changes my opinion of myself. Long ago, when I lived inside of a person that was half my size and dealt with pain much better than I do, I was pretty full of myself. The game “Trivial Pursuit had come out about a year or so earlier and I really enjoyed playing it. Partly because it was a challenge and it did stretch your mind somewhat. Sure, it was a lot of fun, especially when you were stoned or drunk.
I played with Louise a lot, and another friend, Brian. We were pretty damned good even if we did have to say so ourselves. There wasn’t a problem answering questions in most of the categories. We would be unstoppable as a team, but no one would be foolish enough to challenge us. One day we were talking to some friends of ours and the game came up in conversation. They were talking like they were as good as we were, and had thought of giving the game up because there was no one that could make a game interesting or challenging. Excuse me???

We said that maybe we should get together next weekend and have a “friendly” game. Time and place was set and I started to feel bad for them in advance. Throughout the week I must have picked up the phone a hundred times to cancel, because they were our friends and I had no desire to embarrass them or take away one of the few things that they think they do well. You know, I don’t “win” in life that much, so I figure that we may as well teach our friends how to lose graciously.

The night of the game came around, and Louise, Brian and I were pretty cocky. We all got comfortable around the table, with our smokes and tea, and prepared to beat some humility into our good friends. We won the toss and went first. Wouldn’t you know the first question would be one of those unanswerable factoids the makers put in the game so that people like us wouldn’t run the board. That was the last time any of our team touched the dice.
Who knew they were idiot-savants? It was like watching that kid in “Deliverance”, but instead of a banjo he would have had a Trivial Pursuit board in his lap. I would like to say that they got all easy questions and it was one of those one in a million games. I’d like to say that, but it would be a lie. How can they possibly be this smart? They were even stupider than I was in high school! Okay, that’s an exaggeration, but we were more than likely equally stupid.

I lost my love for the game that night. Oh, I have innumerable variations of the game, but I know that just when I think I am pretty good, someone somewhere will crawl out from under some slimy rock and say “No, no, no! The answer is Dien Bein Phu, not Buon Me Thuot!” I don’t think that I could take the humiliation.

No, I prefer any of the many forms of solitaire that are offered on the computer. I am getting pretty good at “Angry Birds” and I don’t imagine there is anyone that could compete against me, because I would be willing to take on all comers…

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