Sunday, 25 March 2012

Travel and Trolls

Well, I left YYC at 8:00 AM and arrived at YVR at 8:30 and in an hour or so we head to SNA and I have to wonder YY ME?

This is the part of traveling that I don't like. Get in this line, then move down the hall to that line. Take off your shoes and belt, put them back on. Walk down to the area that is as far away from where you are as you can get and wait there till they tell you to come and get in this line to get on the plane. Couldn't they make it simpler? I'm a simple guy and I really need simple.

Oh well, what can you do when confronted with the realities of life? I am going to be like the wind and bend in the breeze. I will chant my mantra and then peace will rule the planet, making everyone happy. Uh-huh!

Everything is good...ish. I guess that I am just a bad traveler. They have all of these weird and large metal tubes dangling overhead in the waiting area at YVR. If they were all on one level it wouldn't be bothersome at all, but for some reason (probably design) they are all on different angles. It gives the impression that at any given moment one could drop on your head and crush you into one of the non descript stains that dot the carpet here.

I guess if you are a "half-full" kind of guy it would free up a space on the plane for stand-by passengers. I am going to walk with an eye to the heavens. It kind of makes you wonder if they were straight at one time and because of tremors or shoddy workmanship they are in this sorry state. Maybe it's just me being paranoid. Either way, if I live through the boarding process I will continue. If I don't live through the boarding process, you will never know.

Well, here I am, safe and sound. We have been taxiing for what seems like half an hour and asked Louise if she thought that we were going to drive all the way. She gave a smile and shook her head with what looked like a "Don't be such a frickin' dick." attitude. I can smell aviation fuel! I am pretty sure that I shouldn't be able to, since this isn't a 1981 ToyotaTercel. I wonder if I should press the button to call the flight attendant? I could just scream out that someone left the window open and I think we are all going to die. Nope, that isn't the way to go about it. When I am in an airport or on a plane, I engage the filter between my mouth and brain which is normally shut off. It is a self preservation kind of thing. I can't smell the fuel now that we in the air.

That could signify that (a) there is no leak, (b) we are flying faster than I can smell, or (c) I have just gotten used to the smell. For my own sanity, which is dodgy at the best of times, I am going with (a). However, there is no way I am going to light a match.

Here I am, back again. We are in our rental accommodation and went for a walk in the rain. That wasn't the intention, but we kind of got turned around and it started to pour! We took shelter under a bridge and I was sure that either a troll or a homeless drug addled meth head would toss us out in the rain after raping us. I'm not sure which one I would prefer to be raped by, well, if I have to be raped.

I'm thinking the troll, but it depends on how good looking the meth addict is. I guess I will just have to see which one I dream about tonight.

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