Tuesday 13 December 2011

They Somehow Got It Wrong

I would imagine that I am not the only one that looks in the paper the first thing in the morning to read the horoscope. I know that it is more than likely just hokum and that since Pluto is no longer a planet, I am technically no longer a Libra.

None of that really matters though. I never really believed that there was any kind of science or that my fate is being dictated by the universe. Me! Poor, pathetic little me and of course the other 7 billion poor, pathetic residents of our planet are important enough to be affected by the universe. Maybe we are the ones that are affecting the universe. Let me go on record to say that I don’t believe in astrology. I am not even sure that I believe in astronomy.

A number of years ago there was a comet that was doing a fly by of our planet and the conditions were just perfect to view this near miss. It would pass only a few hundred thousand miles, or was that a few hundred million miles. Either way, the media made a big thing of it, or not only could we see it with binoculars, but we would be able to see it with the naked eye! That isn’t my exclamation point; it belongs to the media of the day.  

I was involved on the periphery of the scouting movement at the time and it was arranged to get out of the city with the boys and a trunk load of binoculars, telescopes and of course we all brought our naked eyes. The moment approached and all of the telescopes were set and pointed at the proper quadrant of the sky, the boys were vibrating with excitement, and I was vibrating with the cold. We watched the stars and one by one the other leaders and boys started to ooh and ahh about this comet. I was starting to get excited myself. When my turn came at the telescope, it seems the kid before me knocked it out of alignment. No, it is pointed the right way, but all that I could see was a very tiny smudge on the lens. I guess that I missed it.

Wait a minute, how could I miss it? There is a pretty big ass sky out there and even a fast moving comet was going to take hours to get out of sight. Hmmmm. Well, it turns out that smudge was the comet. What the hell! Why all of the hoop-la? I was expecting one of those National Geographic views. What a let down! Why is everyone still going on about how wonderful it is? I guess I could use better glasses. Just last night, the Geminid meteor shower was doing a performance. Nasa said it would be the best show of the year. I guess their idea of a shower and mine are a little different. There would be one “shooting star” every few minutes. Big deal! If you took a shower and there was only a drop of water every five minutes or so, you would be on the phone to the plumber right away.

I think it is a good thing that I didn’t go into astrophysics. Well, aside from the IQ thing. Even though I can’t see celestial occurrences and it seems that we have been living a lie counting a very large asteroid as a planet, I still read the horoscope. If it says something good and positive about me, then I turn the page with a smile on my face and I will walk through the day like I am armour plated. If on the other hand it is a negative comment, then I just turn the page with a smile on my face and figure that they somehow got it wrong.

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