Saturday, 24 December 2011

Superstition

I wouldn’t consider myself a very superstitious person, but I am the kind of guy that thinks it is far better to be safe than sorry.

For instance, I would never walk under a ladder. The old wives say that it is bad luck, but what is bad luck? Okay, a hammer might drop on you when you are under the ladder. You might nudge it as you pass beneath it and someone will fall, perhaps break their neck and sue you for every penny that you have and every penny that you might have in the future. I use a ladder to put up some of the Christmas decorations in the house, and invariably I will drop some stuffed animal and it will drop right under the ladder. Because of the ladders placement it is sometimes difficult or impossible to reach the toy. Yes, I have been known to take the ladder down and after I retrieve the dropped decoration I will set the ladder back up. That isn’t superstition, it’s…ahhh…

There is a saying that if you have an itchy nose you will soon be kissed by a fool. What a load of claptrap! Mind you, Louise does rub her nose from time to time. Coincidence I am sure.

We all know that the number thirteen is supposed to be bad luck. I don’t subscribe to this, but when I was working I would call in sick on Friday 13th’s, and now I don’t even like to get out of bed. There is no 13th floor in buildings, there is no 13th aisle in an airplane, and my parents were married on a Friday the 13th and (shudder) I might have been conceived on the 13th. There is undoubtedly nothing to the 13th, but why would we take a chance?

Those old wives also say that if you make a wish while burning onions then it will come true. If that were the case, then I should be able to get a wish every time that Louise goes into the kitchen. OUCH!!!!

Here is one that I have tried (unsuccessfully) more than once. If three people are photographed together, the one in the middle will die first. It may work, but not reliably or quickly. Trust me on this one.

A spider is a repellent to the plague if worn around the neck in a walnut shell. I don’t know about the plague, but pretty much everything and everyone will be repelled if you do this.

So, I have established that I am not really superstitious. Having said that, I think I may have made a karmic mistake today while I was washing the dishes (for the third time today). I picked up the strainer to wash and there sitting on the rim was a ladybug. What the hell is a ladybug doing on my strainer, in my kitchen on the day before Christmas? I picked up the strainer and gingerly walked to the back door with it and banged the strainer on the wall till the ladybug dropped off. I went and finished the dishes and later in the afternoon I started to think that perhaps having a ladybug in the house on Christianity’s most holy day might be a good thing. It wasn’t where it had dropped a couple of hours earlier. Where could it have gone? How would I apologize anyways? I speak ant, but that is mainly swear words. I know that rhyme about her house being on fire and her children having a less than stellar day, but it wouldn’t do to say that when you are hoping for good luck. I just did some research; it would seem that it is bad luck to kill a ladybug. I am sure that it didn’t die, but since it is winter and bugs don’t have a lot of body mass to keep it warm… I knew that doing the dishes would lead to no good. Ahhh…SHIT!

Well, I hope that you all have a good and Merry Christmas. I will caution you to stay away from ladders, make sure that you burn your onions, be careful about how you are placed in photos, avoid rubbing your nose around your significant other and if you happen to run into a slightly tatty looking ladybug, let me know.

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