Saturday 3 December 2011

Free Will or Destiny

I spent the better part of today being God.

Not your God you understand, well, I hope not anyways. You should set higher standards for yourself. If you really do want me for your god you will have to get used to a lot fewer miracles, and I am pretty sure that my son will want to stay as far away from nails and crosses as is humanly (or Godly) possible. No, as God I have set my sights just a little lower.

I have been creating Santa pins and Snowmen out of wood. Just like Geppetto I have carved beings out of blocks of wood. Well the snowmen I used a lathe, but the premise is the same. For the Santa’s, I made their cheeks, eyes, smiles and even put in individual hairs in the beards. I then coloured the skin, hair and eyes. Santa has robin’s egg blue eyes and of course there is just a twinkle of light in the corner. He has laugh lines around his eyes of course and he wears his hat at a jaunty angle. Not all of the Santas are alike, but they are all happy to have been brought into this world and are prepared to go out and bring joy and happiness where ever they go.

I don’t think my God can say that of all of his creations, in fact I know that some of them are lower than slug shit. Technically, I suppose that slug shit is His creation. I am pretty sure I won’t be carving any slug shit any time soon.

The snowmen are made to stand on their own, or to hang. Not by the neck, although a part of me just went “Hey there!”, but from a ring drilled into the top hat. They have tiny eyes made of coal (really just a dot of black paint), a tiny carrot nose and a big wide snowman smile. Unfortunately, they are sitting on the work bench without their twig arms. I have had enough of being God for today, so the arms will have to wait until tomorrow. If they could, I bet all fifteen snowmen would be giving me the finger right now. That will have to wait until tomorrow as well.

“It’s A Wonderful Life” is on right now and things aren’t going too well for George Bailey at the present time. I happen to know that everything turns out for the best, so don’t you worry. Well, everything turned out alright the last time I saw the movie, but you never know what will happen when you are dealing with Gods. Some are fair and just and others are mean and vindictive. I fall somewhere in between, I wish the best for my creations, but it is possible they could spend eternity in a drawer or be left hanging on a tree when it goes into the chipper. Is it free will or destiny? I can’t tell you, I am God…

1 comment:

  1. You remind me of Calvin, of Hobbes fame. He had his snowmen doing some bizarre but hilarious stuff. Have fun with it. We're here for a good time, not a long time :)