Tuesday 18 October 2011

A Pretty Good View

I was in a pub on Yonge Street last week called the Twisted Kilt ( http://www.thetwistedkilt.ca/ ). We went there for dinner and overall, it was a wonderful time. They served very good pub food at a relatively modest price. I was there with Louise and my daughter and from all reports, the conversation was animated and interesting.

I say “by all reports”, because, even though I was there I had some difficulty following the conversation. I have tinnitus, which is kind of a constant buzz that lies beneath all sound that comes my way. Historically, tinnitus can potentially be blamed for all of nut jobs that hear voices that tell them the world is about to end, that their dog told them to kill everyone with the letter “B” in their name, and to take these tablets down the mountain to your people. I don’t hear voices telling me to cleanse the world, but I do have difficulty in following a single conversation when there is more than one in a noisy public venue.

I try to get the gist by catching the odd word, reading lips and cupping my hand over my ear turning it into a mini parabolic microphone. I am not always successful with any of these methods, and on the night in question I just didn’t have a clue. So, the fall back is to plant a smile on my face and nod my head every now and then. I couldn’t follow the whispering ladies, but the two young men at the table next to me came through loud and clear.

Perhaps it was the subject matter, or the fact that these two guys thought that what they had to say was important enough to share with everyone in the restaurant. It seems that both of these young men thought that sex was the BEST! They went on to say that nothing could beat good sex and even bad sex was a learning experience. It was further mentioned that they couldn’t get enough. What a break through! You can’t argue with the basic premise, but there are other things that can give you great pleasure. Getting up in the middle of the night and having a great pee. Finding out that your $1200 dollar transmission repair is covered under the warranty. Having your grandson give you a big hug and tell you that he loves you. How about finding a $20 dollar bill when you are walking the dog? Yes, sex is great, but a gentleman shouldn’t talk to his friends about sex, whereas finding money, saving money and squishy hugs are always good for a story or two.

These two guys went on to talk about the quality of writing, acting and production values of the current TV shows and movies that they had seen. They went on in depth about the new Star Trek movie and how although well done cinematographically, the writing and acting left a little to be desired. Also, neither one of these guys liked the direction it was taking the franchise. I had avoided looking at these guys up until now, but I had to see what these two guys that liked sex and Star Trek looked like.

The one guy was a typical sort of young man with a strong right hand, but the other guy had long shoulder length hair and was blind. The blind guy was eating with his fingers which would have been OK if he hadn’t been talking about Star Trek and sex. I don’t even want to go there!

Let’s go here. How could a blind guy be talking about the merits of a TV show or a movies cinematography? What is he doing watching TV? Shouldn’t he be fingering a book or asking some young woman if he can feel how beautiful she is?

Yeah, I know, that is wrong on more than one level. The worst thing about it is that I kind of snickered when the blind guy asked for mustard and it was on the table in front of him. I felt bad at the time and feel worse now. I may not be headed for Hell, but I bet I’ll have a pretty good view of it.

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