I hate the first day of gardening!
I know that there are people who spend the long, cold months
looking through seed catalogues, sharpening and polishing their garden tools
and visualizing the perfect placement of each and every plant. I don’t know
what to say about those people, insanity comes with many different disguises.
I am a reluctant gardener and although I can take some pride
in the garden when the season is over, the beginning is more of a pain than
pleasure. I have to turn the soil over and break up the lumps. I understand
that if I had good soil there wouldn’t be any lumps to break up. I toss in
compost from one of the two compost bins I have and I think it’s good for the
plants. I haven’t heard any complaints.
The worst part for me is picking what to plant. I guess I
should clarify that I am talking about a vegetable garden because the flowers
will look after themselves. They don’t, but whose fault is that? Anyways, I try
to pick things for the garden that are edible and won’t disappoint at the end
of the season. They also need to be relatively easy to look after and of course
they need to be able to take a certain amount of abuse and dog urine. Carrots
have never disappointed, but tomatoes and lettuce have. Tomatos either don’t
ripen on the plant or there are so damned many that I can’t bear looking at a
tomato until well after Christmas. Lettuce can be nice, but it is a pain to get
ants and their grubby little friends off the leaves.
One year I planted beets and they did really well! I pretty
much hate beets. I do like to plant peas in the hopes that the grandkids will
marvel at being able to pick food right from the stalk, vine, or green growy
thingy. I guess if I had a double bubble gum tree we would have much more
excitement. I planted corn one year…pathetic! The sunflowers look really cool,
but never seem to make it all the way to maturity before the first killing
frost. That can be sometime mid-August some years.
I have had a lot of luck with rhubarb and chives over the
years, and if anyone wants some year old, frozen rhubarb or a fistful of
chives, just let me know. I can’t stop those fuckers from growing. This year I
have planted potatoes in the hope that the saying “Out of sight, out of mind.”
will work its magic for the potatoes. Water and sun, how can I go wrong? I am
also trying peppers and cucumbers this year. I have grown these in years past,
but I stopped for some reason. I’m sure the reason will become painfully
apparent by the beginning of August.
Years ago I planted some of those decorative gourds that you
see around Halloween. I find gourds endlessly fascinating in colour, shape and
utter uselessness. I suppose I could make a small ladle out of them or if I was
lucky maybe there would be one that looked like Elvis or Christ. That would be
something! Pumpkins are cool, but they kind of take over the yard as well as
the garden and no matter how cool they are, they seldom look like anyone
famous.
Well, I suppose I had best get at it, disappointment doesn’t
grow on trees…or does it?
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