Sunday, 5 January 2014

Nutfuggers


I know I have been complaining about the weather for what seems like months now and I am sorry that you have to read about it. The reason I have been complaining for months is that it has been shitty weather for months with just a few warmer breaks. The funny thing about this horrible weather is that you tend to get used to it. Today it was -17°C and sunny without any significant wind. It felt like an early spring!

We humans can get used to anything that doesn’t kill us quickly I suppose. There isn’t a place on the planet that people haven’t called home at one time or another, except for the Antarctica, and there are nutfuggers that think it’s a good place to do experiments or to go on an “Adventure Holiday”. Like I said, nutfuggers! It seems as if we find a nice hospitable place and within a few generations, there is a faction that thinks it would be better some where else. Crazy nutfuggers!
 
There were people that crossed the Bering land bridge some twenty or thirty thousand years ago. It must have been quite a hike and whatever the reason they left where they were, it must have been pretty good too. Can you imagine deciding to walk five or six thousand miles to get away from whatever it was they were trying to escape? Personally, I would have gone maybe a hundred or so miles and then found some out of the way valley to set up a village. Who is going to look for you 100 miles away when they would have to walk? I’ve been in the wilderness and unless you know exactly where you are heading, you would walk right past a settlement if you missed it by ½ mile.
 
Be that as it may, these crazy buggers walked thousands of miles and ended up in what is now northern Alaska and decided that it would be a good place to settle. Sure, there might have been plenty of seals, salmon and berries, but it would also be really, really cold all of the time. I’m not going to mention the bugs, which would be just freakin’ horrible. What about the black, grizzly and polar bears that are foraging for the same kind of food sources? Cougars, mountain lions and more than likely some other now dead species that would look on humans as a delicacy would also be hanging out in that cold, God forsaken country.

Within a few generations of course there would be some malcontents that decided being cold all of the time wasn’t the best way to live, and they would head south looking for greener pastures. Well, any colour pastures really, just so long as they weren’t white. They kept moving south and east and within ten thousand years or so, they had populated the North and South American continents. Some of them were warm and more than likely happy.
 
Well, they were happy until the descendants of the people their ancestors ran from came across the Atlantic Ocean and decided that the land was too nice for savages to have all to themselves. Eventually through sickness and violence, we ended up with pretty much the whole continent. There must have been a point when the people I am descended from decided that Canada would be a good place to live. Sure the weather sucks for six months out of twelve and the soil in most of Canada is terrible for growing things, but it’s warm for six months. Plus, no one would be interested in Canada, so we can have it to ourselves, cold, snow and wind.
 
It’s not so bad. Could be worse. Could be the NWT or Alaska.

Yep, we are the nutfuggers!


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