Thursday, 16 May 2013

Snowbirds and Anal Probes



I was talking to my neighbour Stan today who is my neighbour from across the alley. Stan and his wife and Louise and I have been living in our houses for about the same amount of time; I think that we have been in our homes longer than almost anyone else in the neighbourhood.

Stan is one of the good guys. I mean that literally, he is retired from the Calgary police force and I am sure he was a credit to the force. We will often meet in the alley and talk about the new…ish neighbours and other aspects to living where we live. We talk about the weather and gardening, how to deal with problem neighbours. Generally, we just like to talk to each other. I will look after his house every now when he goes away and he will return the favour for us.
 
Stan and his wife are snowbirds. They drive their RV down to Yuma Arizona every year for about four months. They like being there and have been going long enough that I suppose they must have long time friends that they meet every year. They get glasses, dental work and prescription drugs when they cross the border into Mexico. The prices for these services are unbelievably low and from what Stan says, the quality is pretty high. Good information to have.
 
I have other friends that are snow birds, one couple spends the winter in Brownsville Texas, which is also on the border of Mexico and I suppose that the medical benefits of staying there are quite similar. My good buddy Ken and his wife just came back from a month long trip to New Mexico. Yet another couple tend to travel around and often will drift in and out of Mexico during the winter season. They all enjoy not being cold and not having to shovel snow I suppose. I have to admit that spending the winter in a warmer climate is rather appealing. I have no interest in RVing, but I can see us subletting an apartment for a couple of months in the coming years.

When I was talking to Stan today, I noticed something that I hadn’t noticed before, an antenna coming out of his right ear. It could be that Stan now needs a hearing aid which given his age wouldn’t be out of line. However, maybe when you hear about illegal aliens from Mexico they are talking about real outer space kind of aliens. Maybe when Stan went in for dental work they inserted some kind of tracking/listening device in his ear. I haven’t checked out my other friends, but you can bet I will be giving their ears the once over the next time I see them. My friend Ken just got back from Roswell NM and that place is famous for sightings of space ships. I’ll be looking in his right ear tomorrow!
 
I don’t know why any beings that have the technology to cross galactic distances would want to listen in on a bunch of old farts complaining about pretty much everything. However, I don’t know why they are interested in anal probing either, but there is an abundance of evidence that seems to indicate that they are into butts. Literally! What I do know is that I am not going to talk about our planetary defences when I am around these “snowbirds” any more.

Just to be on the safe side, I am going to double up on my underwear from now on just in case the whole anal probe thing is something that you can catch. You can’t be too careful when the fate of the human race is at stake.

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