Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Pull My finger


It’s hard to believe that today is Hurricanes sixth birthday. In some ways I can’t believe he is already six and in another way it is difficult to believe he is only six. I knew that he was going to drop over tonight for a short visit and I sat at the window waiting for him like a kid does at Christmas waiting for Santa. He is the bright light in my life. I actually have two bright lights, but today is this ones birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY little man!

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I mentioned yesterday what a relief it was to have the big elm tree cut down. I was so happy and just thrilled that it was finally taken down. It started to rain right after the tree monkeys had finished cutting, so the clean up crew didn’t make it. They are the ones that will feed all of the branches into the chipper, grind out the root and do a general final tidy of the area. Oh, they are the ones that will submit the bill as well. Today I don’t have that feeling of relief, happiness or being thrilled. Today I just want them to get all of that shit off of my lawn. Funny how within 48 hours it went from a beloved part of my life to a big pile of shit I want tossed in the chipper and hauled away.

Someone sent me one of those facebook helpful hint updates. You know the kind, they show you how peanut butter can be used not only for sandwiches and making your skin smooth, but you can also pack it into a faulty transmission to make it run smoothly until you can sell it to some sucker. I would imagine you would have to use smooth and not chunky peanut butter.
 
Today’s “helpful” hint was how to make those baked on dirty cookie sheets shine like new. You need a ¼ cup of baking powder and just enough hydrogen peroxide to make a paste. Then you rub it on with your fingers and wait for the magic to happen. There doesn’t seem to be any magic happening. Perhaps if my fingers were made of steel wool or 60 grit sand paper there might be some effect, but nothing if you just let it sit.

When I read it I was pretty sure that nothing would happen. However, I thought that perhaps there would be some kind of chemical reaction. I don’t know anything about chemistry, having spent most of the time in class doodling, making jokes and trying to sleep with my eyes open. The article on facebook mentioned something about someone’s grandmother having loaned out her pans only to have them return sparkling clean. Nothing ever tasted the same again. Grandmas don’t lie! Well, not usually…
 
I’ve noticed quite a few things on facebook that people pass on as the truth and it is basically bullshit. There is one AMBER alert that has a three year old kid being kidnapped by a guy in a blue mini van. This poor kid has been kidnapped by the same guy in the blue mini van fifteen times in the past three years. This one always has the phrase at the end which tells you to pass it along. Inevitably someone uses Snopes and informs the “friend” that it is just bullshit, but you can’t be too careful. Turns out that there was never a three year old kid taken by someone in a blue mini van.

Facebook seems like the modern day version of the crazy uncle who always wants you to pull his finger. You know you are being taken in, but who doesn’t like their crazy uncle.


Pull my finger…

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