Nipples

I have been looking at an awful lot of nipples lately.

I know that you might be thinking "Good for you Ken!" and you might even be just a little bit envious of me. Well, if I were in your position I might just feel the same way, but it isn't what you think. These nipples aren't really attached to breasts at all. I have been looking at a lot of nipples that belong to men. They aren't even good looking men either for the most part.

I haven't been going out of my way to look at them, they just seem to be thrust into my face as it were. I've seen nipples belonging to old men, young men, small boys, Hawaiian men, Canadian men, American men, men that are homeless, men that really should stay at home, men in the supermarket and all sorts of bare chested men walking down the street.

Most of these men aren't in very good shape at all. I am including the guy that I see in the mirror of course. Even on the men that are in good shape, the nipples just seem out of place somehow. It isn't as if I can avert my eyes, because pretty much everyone and their father feels much the way that I do. "I am paying a lot of hard to come by cash for this vacation and I don't give a shit what anyone thinks." I am long past the stage where I can impress the ladies with my ripped body. Okay, I never could, but if I had bought the body building course that was in the back page of my comic books those many years ago...

Since I pretty much have to look at the nipples anyways, I have become aware that no two nipples are alike. Well, I guess the two nipples on a guys chest are alike, but the nipples on different men seem to be...well...different. Some are very, very dark, and some are so pale that you have to really look to even see them. By the way, don't look very hard at a man's chest if you can help it. Some nipples are so large they seem to spread over the entire chest and of course there are nipples that are very tiny. Some nipples are so hard that I would wager you could cut diamonds with them and there are the flaccid variety as well. There are almost as many nipples as there are men, well, I suppose there are twice as many.

While I am here I am going to do an informal study to try and determine if the size and shape of a man's nipples can determine their personality. I think that guys with tiny, dark, hard nipples are the no nonsense kind of CEO type. Those with large, pale flat nipples are probable deep thinkers. Philosophers might have nipples that seem lost in chest hair. Men with nipple rings are just nuckin' futs.

I suspect that I might be on to something, but I fear that I won't be here long enough to get a large enough sampling and trying to get men to take off their shirts at Tim Horton's when I return home probably wouldn't be the best of ideas. I don't even think I could get a straight answer if I went up to a stranger and asked him what size and shape his nipples are. I might get a free dinner though.

Yep, I have about a week and a half to document all of the male nipples that I can see. There are a couple of nipples jiggling down the beach right now, I think I will go up and see what the guy does for a living.