Friday 19 April 2013

Argue With Saint Peter

I am slowly getting back to my normal life. You know that life, where every day is pretty much the same and the weather guy doesn’t report on the size of the waves at different parts of the islands. I suppose that for an island community in which a large percentage of the population spend and inordinate amount of time in or near the water, this is pretty important information. It isn’t as if the weather guy actually has real weather to report. The first day we were there, the temperature hit a new low and dropped to 68°. Wah-wah!
I am trying to find a warm enough patch of sun to dry out a baggie of sand that I stole from the beach in front of our condo. I understand that it is frowned on to take shells or sand from the islands and borders on the illegal. Well, come and get me! At my trial, I will just say that I scrapped it from my belly button, between my toes and from the dark nether regions that should and will remain unnamed. I plan on putting some of it between the sheets on a buddy’s bed who is on vacation down in New Mexico right now. That should give him and his wife a nightmare or two. I hope he reads this and spends some time wondering if I would really do it.
I picked up a senior newspaper for the first time today. It says for 55 plus, so I guess I should have been reading it for the past six years or so. I don’t feel like a senior, but I took advantage of a seniors discount at the Sugar Museum while on holidays, so I suppose I should start thinking 55 plus. The first thing that I noticed is that the print is a little larger which kind of makes sense.

There are a lot of ads for seniors living accommodations, hearing loss, dentures, shingle protection, casino tours, book clubs, golf, prescriptions, dances, card groups and a whole lot of other things like that. I was never that busy, I am kind of looking forward to an active life for a change. It is nice that there is the opportunity for an active social life and that there are people who care for our seniors. Nice.

I don’t think it is all nice however. I noticed a lot of ads from people who are willing to pay “BIG MONEY” for watches, silver and gold, stamps, antiques, firearms, books, magazines, records, china, toys and antique furniture. I am sure that some or all of these people are reputable, and there is a need to downsize. Why not make some money from the stuff you have collected over a long life? I’m just not a trusting sort I suppose. I have some things of value that I wouldn’t mind selling, but how can I be sure that the dealers are on the up and up? I suppose that if they are advertising in this paper then they have been vetted to some degree.

I guess I am just not ready to part with my things. I picked them up because for one reason or another they appealed to me and they still have that appeal. I probably will never want to part with them. I know I’ll have to at some point, but it is going to be a tough thing. You see, I am not entirely sure that I can’t take it with me. What happens if I show up at the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter asks me where all of my stuff is? I’ll explain that I was told I couldn’t take it with me and when he asks who told me that, the only answer I will have is “They”. How embarrassing!
Maybe that is where the idea of reincarnation comes from. Perhaps people are just sent back to get their stuff and when they arrive back on earth it has all been sold or put in the dumpster. Now they have to start all over again as a baby and live their life collecting things that have meaning to them. Maybe the people that are so into antiques are just trying to get their old things back. By the time they go through their life again they forget why they are here and foolishly listen to “them” who say “You can’t take it with you.” This starts everything all over again…

No, I’m keeping my stuff and I’ll let the kids argue with Saint Peter over who gets what.

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