Goodbye Everyone

We are having Hurricane and Tornado for a sleep over tonight. I always love having them over of course, they bring with them all of the possibilities of youth and none of the cynicism that we adults develop over a lifetime. I am also reminded of perhaps the best times of my life, when my kids were small and cuddly. Tonight we will play and perhaps watch a movie (animated of course), eat popcorn and watch two young men fight off the sandman for as long as possible. They will wake on Saturday morning and crawl into bed with us until it just gets a little too squirmy for the cynical ones.

 

In preparation for the visit, I made some meatballs to go with the spaghetti we will be having for dinner. It is a meal liked by all and more importantly, there is a good chance that they will actually eat it. I was testing the meatballs to see if they were indeed cooked and what they tasted like when for some odd reason my body decided to breathe instead of swallow. What followed was a long, long, long coughing fit during which I debated the merits of calling 911 for help or calling Louise to say goodbye. Neither was the best option because I wasn’t able to talk, just heavy breathing and coughing. Perhaps the good people at 911 would put 2 and 2 together, but I’m pretty sure Louise wouldn’t. My next option was to find something that I could drive my sternum down on and thereby dislodge the piece of meatball that was causing the problem.

 

It turns out that the solution wasn’t to plan for imminent death, but to take a few sips of the cold tea I had and just wait for things to settle. I feel 100% now, but I plan on keeping my eyes on those meatballs at dinner tonight, you just never know when a meatball will turn on you.

Of course I started to wonder how I would like to die. There is something to be said for making one last big scene and getting the attention of everyone within a two block radius. The problem with that of course is that big scenes like that tend to be extremely painful. It might also cause years of emotional problems for those that witness my demise. No, it is best if I were to die alone I suppose.

The problem with dying alone is that you are, well, alone. I had a scare today and there is a kind of helpless, panic that sets in rather quickly. Worse I suppose if those I loved were to witness me choking to death. Nope, forget the violent death altogether, it would be way too messy.

So, that leaves alone and quiet, perhaps in my sleep or sitting in a chair writing a blog with just enough time and forethought to say, “Goodbye everyone!”