Sunday 1 April 2012

Back To Normal

I am feeling a little like God at the moment. I am floating high above the earth and clouds, listening to music and watching TV.

You know, I am not entirely sure that the real God spends His time watching TV, eating Bits & Bites while drinking ginger ale. Anything is possible I suppose. I would like to think that an all powerful, omniscient being would be flying fist class, or at least business class. He more than likely would be flying on Air Canada. Well, unless the baggage handlers decided to do a wildcat strike. He in his wisdom would more than likely be able to work out a solution to whatever it is that's getting the bag jockeys all worked up.

He might just be one of those frugal Gods and figure that if He flies tourist it will encourage everyone else to. You know the saying, "Look after the pennies and the dollars will look after themselves." or "A penny saved is a penny earned." It isn't as if God actually has any money, the priests, shamans, rabbis and those ayatollahs will generally take their share to look after their respective houses of worship to honour their God. The people do get a trickle down effect, but I'm not entirely sure there is a trickle "up" effect for the supreme being.

I suppose that like any father, He could move in with his kids. No one really wants that. I mean, to which of God's houses would He go to? It wouldn't matter which one that he picked, the others would feel slighted. The lucky ones that He picked would never, ever, ever let the others forget just which house God eventually chose. If it were me, I would probably pick one of the Christian religions, their places seem to be bigger and more opulent. It's obvious that there is money and a real solid fan base.

Even if He did decide on one house to live in, I'm not convinced He would be welcomed. He would probably get the "Ahhhh...well...we are in the middle of renovations. If you had only told us back in the fifteen hundreds that you were coming, we could have made up a room. I think the Jews have room for you, and the Buddhists can't say no to anyone. You might want to stay away from the Muslims, they seem to be angry with everyone these days. Not all of them, but just a few zealots. We should be done the renos next year. You understand."

I managed to arrive home safe and sound, and I am feeling particularly generous towards the higher being. He did keep California from dropping into the ocean while I was there, and the planes that we were on stayed just where they were supposed to. Somewhere between heaven and earth. He missed the boat an having my ticket win the $660 million lottery. Oh well! As I said, I am feeling particularly generous and would like to extend the olive branch to God and let Him know that He is welcome here anytime at all.

So, I am back home and God and I are looking forwards to getting back to normal.

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