Friday 24 June 2011

Wish Me Luck

I have had a stiff neck all day!

I have heard the joke about the guy that swallowed a Viagra pill, it caught in his throat and he had a stiff neck all day. Ha, ha, ha! It is strange that I have had a stiff neck just when Louise went to BC for her outrigger race in Salmon Arm. I mean really, who would have thought that I could lose a pain in the ass and get a pain in the neck? Ha, ha, ha.

“No Honey I didn’t think that was funny. No! No! Not at all!”

I am just practicing for Saturday night, unless of course she doesn’t read this and then I am still golden. Yes, I am the eternal optimist.

So, let’s get back to my stiff neck. Did you know, that when you can’t turn your head it is impossible to shoulder check when you are driving? Did you also know that by just keeping your head upright you get a certain amount of pain? I don’t like pain very much. I mean my pain of course, other people can be in all of the pain they want to be in and it doesn’t bother me one whit. In fact, it can be pretty funny to see people in pain.

If you don’t think so then you probably won’t want to watch this clip of people crashing on bikes. Just for the record I think that I have done most of those falls and a few that aren’t included. Just once before I die I would like to see someone trip on the up escalator. If no one was around, they might fall for hours. That is one of those “If a tree falls in the forest…” things.

It is even hard to listen to music with a stiff neck. You can’t drive down the road looking cool keeping the beat noddin’ with your noggin. Well, you can but instead of the proper lyrics you would be singing “ouch..ouch..ouuuccchhh…ahhhcht…ouchie..ouch…ouch…”. I think Sha-Na-Na actually sang that song at Woodstock.

Jeez, even typing this is hard on my neck. When you are being creative you tend to look up and to the left, whereas when you are looking up and to the right you would be doing math or recalling some fact. I tend to look up and to the center, which hurts like hell and isn’t either creative or cognitive. Still hurts!

I guess it almost time to over medicate myself. I am hoping to be so numbed that I won’t feel all of the tossing and turning during the night. I just hope I can wake up in time to get to the airport for Maegan’s arrival.

Wish me luck.

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