Sunday 24 January 2016

18 Virgins

Every now and then I start to think about death. Lately it has been coming up a little too much, but it is hard not to think of something when you don’t want to think of it. Kind of like if I told you not to think of the plaid elephant that is sitting at your kitchen table. Most people will automatically picture that plaid elephant, but the odd guy will say “The elephant is mauve, not plaid!” Stay away from that guy.

This morning I was contemplating the concepts of an afterlife. I have pretty much discarded the Christian idea of a celestial paradise where everyone sits on the left hand of God. Jesus is supposedly on the right hand. That seems like it would be a pretty boring, fruitless existence. I know there is a tendency to rest after you have worked hard and dying has to be pretty hard work, but I doubt that anyone would need an eternity to rest. Besides, when would you be able to practice the harp? I understand that every now and then you’d need to get up and stand in a bright light whenever a loved one died or had a near death experience. Getting up would be a bitch if you happened to be in the middle of a winning poker hand. Such is life in Heaven I suppose.

Making even less sense is the Muslim afterlife. Now, I don’t pretend to know much about it other than if I were to die I would spend eternity with 18 virgins in a garden paradise. Would there be ants? Ants would be a deal breaker for me, but a garden paradise could be an ant’s idea of heaven. What would I do with 18 virgins? Do they remain virgins? If so, what is the point of having them around? Better to have someone that was a great cook or knew how to get rid of those pesky ants. Who needs 18 people telling them what to do? Notice I said people and not women, that is me being sensitive. I can’t imagine that it would be paradise for 18 women to be stuck in a garden with an old fart like me, although I am pretty nice. Such is life in Paradise I suppose.

Another belief is that of reincarnation; which is the one that makes the most sense to me. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t make a lot of sense, just more than those others. The idea that we are here on this planet to learn kind of rings true. I especially like the idea of no exams, no grades and no pass fail. However, after I have lived countless lives learning and improving until I am literally a know-it-all, what then. Reunite with God…and….

A beginning with no end I guess.

One thing I do know is that the universe or nature or God doesn’t waste anything. A river floods washing soil from the hillsides and mountains slopes and carries it down stream to deposit it on flood plains which then become extremely fertile, feeding thousands and creating a perfect eco system. If a tree falls in a forest, not only does it make a sound, but as it slowly decomposes it will provide homes for numerous animals and insects and provide a fertile soil for new trees to grow. There is no waste.


I doubt very much if the energy needed to create a living creature with a sense of itself would just disappear. No, it goes somewhere and is used in some way, we just don’t know how. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t involve 18 virgins or sitting on a cloud and playing a harp.

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