Saturday, 9 August 2014

Patio People


Louise and I went out to dinner tonight. We aren’t foodies by any means, in fact, I’m only aware that there are foodies because my son and his wife are. We just didn’t want to make a meal. I suppose that would make us “lazies”.

We never used to go out, or should I say we went out rarely, it is just in the past few years that we have been affluent enough I suppose. I like to go out for the convenience and the assortment of choices I have available, also I don’t have to do the dishes or wash pots. I can picture a scenario where I would eat out breakfast, lunch and dinner, but I can’t picture myself paying to eat out breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Tonight was “PASTA TUESDAY” at Chianti’s. The food is pretty good (not good enough for a foodie), and the price is good as well. The place attracts people like Louise and I, middle class with some disposable income, frugal people (cheap), those that enjoy Italian food and for the most part, people who live in the same area of the city as we do. You could swap out faces, jobs, bank accounts and personal histories and we would all be much the same. I know these people and they know me.

There is a difference however, some of these people are inside people and some are outside people. I am an inside person and can’t understand why anyone would prefer to sit outside on a patio in the laser like sun with bugs flitting all around, horns honking and the very real possibility that a bird will defecate on your head or in your food. Say what you will about eating indoors, but the chance of a bird crapping on you is next to zero.

I am sure that the patio people are wondering why anyone in their right mind would want to eat their meal indoors on such a beautiful day. When I am camping or if I were involved in some kind of natural disaster that made buildings unsafe, I can see myself eating outside. Even when I was camping, I would generally erect a tarp to act as a buffer between me and the bird droppings and insect prowling.

I was wondering what crossroads in a person’s life would turn them into an outdoor eater. I imagine if they came from a country where earthquakes are a common occurrence, they just may be genetically programmed to eat out of doors. Perhaps they suffer from a heat sensitive mouth and need to have their food cool down quickly lest they scald their tongue. They could be severe claustrophobics, never wanting to be confined between walls. Perhaps they were scolded constantly about dropping food on the floor when they were little and now they prefer to avoid those unpleasant memories. Who really knows?

I do know that they are nuckin’ futs!


I am right and everyone else is wrong, well the patio people are wrong. Otherwise, they seem to be pretty normal, nice people.

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