Sunday 17 August 2014

My Sedentary Lifestyle

My sedentary lifestyle is starting to catch up with me.

I went for a bike ride this afternoon and towards the end of it I was looking for a nice soft bit of grass where I could lay down and die. It isn’t as if that’s not a normal thing to do, animals do it all the time. I’ll admit that generally humans will fight and cling to life, calling all manner of emergency responders who can prevent the natural wish for a restful and timely death.

Perhaps I am being a bit dramatic. I do have to make a point of getting much more exercise than I get now. I also need to eat a lot less of what is bad for me and a lot more of what is good for me. I should be watching less TV and spend more of my time doing things creative that will improve the human condition. Well, this human’s condition at the very least.


I could embrace my lifestyle for what it is. I could enjoy mornings bereft of dog walking, sit ups, push ups, jumping jacks and any other forced exercise. Instead I could cook myself a cholesterol loaded breakfast involving eggs, bacon and some kind of potato. I might wash it down with two or three cups of coffee while I read the paper to see how the rest of the world is faring. Later, I could watch a favourite movie or TV show that is available 24/7 on Netflix of my local cable company. I will follow that with a nap, big lunch an afternoon nap, large dinner and then TV until the wee hours of the morning.

Normally, this kind of lifestyle isn’t accepted by society at large, except under certain circumstances. Society understands if I am involved in some kind of artistic or creative endeavour. Instead of being a fat layabout, an artist is flamboyant or eccentric in his behaviour. I am half way towards being an artist of sorts. I write a daily blog and I have been known to do artistic-like things with wood. I just have to sell people on the idea. It will help if I always dress in a white suit and grow some kind of odd looking facial hair. Once again, it’s fair to say I am pretty much there with the hair.

Yes, I will more than likely die ten or fifteen years earlier with this lifestyle than if I were to eat well and exercise. Let’s not forget that those are the worst fifteen years, at least half of them would have me in a wheelchair, popping pills and drooling, trying to remember who my kids are.

I suspect that I will try to mix the two lifestyles, probably unsuccessfully and I’ll die five to ten years early. Everything in moderation I suppose, even moderation. 

1 comment:

  1. We need to get you a army drill sergeant as a workout coach, and sooner the better I'm thinking. B