Saturday 19 July 2014


It’s funny what happens when we make assumptions.

I know the old saying that when you assume you make and ass out of u and me. Ass-u-me. Yep, pretty cute isn’t it? Surprisingly, it is more often right than wrong. There are exceptions of course.

If you invite someone over for drinks, it is assumed that there will be drinks for the person, and not just drinks, but alcoholic drinks. I am not much of a drinker and over the years people have come over to our place and aside from a twenty year old bottle of some weird liqueur made by monks in some tiny European mountainous country, my friends have been out of luck. I made the assumption that tea or coffee would be good enough. Now, if someone drops over they bring their own beer. I kind of feel I should be the good host and buy some beer, but what if it doesn’t get drunk? I’ll be stuck with it forever unless some other visitor drops by without his or her own beer and decides to take a chance.

By now I am pretty well known and anything that I would offer would be suspect. “Why do YOU have beer?” “What’s wrong with it?” “Did you find this on the street?” I actually did find some beer on the street last year, but I didn’t figure that my adult kids would drink it and I was right. I ended up pouring it out and cashing the cans in for a deposit. I’m sure it would have been fine, it hadn’t been opened. Seems like a waste, not for me, but those other people might think so.

I do have a can of Labatts Beer that I got during the Olympics back in 1988. I’m saving it for a special occasion. Not for me, but I am sure I can find someone who deserves to drink a twenty six year old can of beer.

I have always assumed that everyone would like me. Why wouldn’t they? It turns out that I am not everyone’s cup of tea. There is a woman that I used to works with that merely tolerates me because her other friends enjoyed my company. I’m sure she thought I was loud and just not funny. She obviously didn’t spend the time to get to know me well enough. If she had, she would have found that I am just loud enough and very funny. There are others that really just don’t like me at all. What is their fucking problem?

This song could have been written about me. Well, I think that “the everybody loves me” part could have been anyways.

I assume that I am going to wake up every morning, the sun will shine and the birds will sing about getting that early worm. I assume there will be enough money in my pocket to buy a coffee every now and then and I’ll be able to put food on the table. I assume that the people I love will stay healthy and that their problems will be little ones. I assume that people think the way I do because when it comes right down to it, I am correct more than I am wrong. I assume that everyone tries to be good and that the politicians are trying to do the right thing. I make a lot of assumptions, some are not always right.

I assume that I would never hurt the people I love. I shouldn’t make that assumption.


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