Wednesday 2 July 2014


Okay, here’s my problem. It costs $14.69 to buy a medium Vegetarian pizza from Supreme Pizza. The pizza is pretty good and we have been going there for years and years. I think that originally the price was unbeatable, but now I suspect that it is beatable. It is still close and we know that the quality we have come to like is there. There was a special last night and I could have gotten two medium pizzas for $16.99, a whole other pizza for just $2.30 more.

There is no question that it is a deal and a half, I just don’t think it would be a wise decision. I am trying to lose some weight, and I don’t remember ever reading about the benefits of the “All Pizza” diet. I could really stick to a diet like that though. So, I was feeling guilty about buying the pizza in the first place and getting the extra pizza would have made me at least twice as guilty, maybe more.

There is just the two of us and we have a few slices left over from one pizza normally and we would have either stepped up our consumption or just had a shitpile of left over pizza. I like left over pizza, and so does Louise, so it isn’t a problem. Or is it? I like left over pizza the next day for lunch and if I am feeling extra ordinarily lazy, then pizza for supper too. Right out of the refrigerator is just fine, but warmed up is good too. It isn’t as good as the first day, but second day pizza is fine.

Third day pizza is questionable. It is a little dried out, it’s curling at the tip and if you left it in the box, there is some kind of pizza glue action going on with the box. You can close your eyes and pretend its second day pizza, but you know and your tongue knows and ultimately your stomach knows it is third day pizza. Plus, since you had pizza the first day and then the second day you are getting kind of sick of pizza. Third day pizza is like third day turkey, dry and uninspiring. You are better off just skipping third day pizza.

That takes us to fourth day pizza. Four day old pizza…kind of makes your mouth water doesn’t it? The kind of watering it gets just as you are contemplating puking your guts out. I have eaten fourth day pizza before, and I am sure that I will eat it at some point in the future, but I have never felt satisfied afterwards. The only time you will eat fourth day pizza is if there is no other food in the house or you are so incredibly lazy that the pizza becomes the preferred option. That’s pretty sad.

Of course, you will eat four day old pizza if you are stoned. I’ve eaten cat food out of the cat’s dish once when I was stoned, so four day old pizza would be like a walk in the park. I didn’t eat cat food because I liked the taste, it’s just that I couldn’t get off of the floor and I was very, very, very hungry.

Don’t even think about eating five, six or seven day old pizza. You would never be able to look at yourself in the mirror again, plus you just might end up needing to get your stomach pumped. The only reason to keep pizza for five, six, or seven days is so that the garbage doesn’t stink of rotten pizza. It’s best to keep it cool until garbage day.

I’ve made my decision about what to do the next time I buy a pizza. I’m getting the two for $16.99! I won’t have to think about lunch for a couple of days, second day supper will be taken care of and I have a pretty big refrigerator that can hold whatever is left until garbage day.

I wonder if you can freeze pizza.

Okay, this is two pizzas and a few days later. It turns out that the sign in the window that was advertising two pizzas for $16.99 is a few years old. They just haven’t gotten around to taking the poster off of the window. They managed to change owners a couple of times, but couldn’t get that pesky piece of paper off the window. Hmmmmm….

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