Friday 21 February 2014


I’ve got to be quick tonight because I can hear my bed calling me. That might give you an idea of just how tired I am, I’m having audio hallucinations.

Speaking of audio hallucinations, I received a call from the Audiologist today to set up an appointment to have my hearing tested. What? I thought it was a telemarketer and I was kind of looking forward to being rude to whoever it was. Lucky for me I let her say something before I started ranting about how her mother should be ashamed of her for doing the job she does. Her mom may have hoped that she would be more than a receptionist for an audiologist, but there is no reason for shame.

I had forgotten that my doctor had requested an appointment for me, since it has been three or four months. I don’t even actually need my hearing tested, but the doctor wants me to go to an eye, ear, nose and throat doctor. I was going to type “Otolaryngologist”, but I figured that no one (including me) would know what that was. It seems that to see an Otolaryngologist you first have to see an audiologist, I guess to prove that you are really serious about your ears. It does seem to be something of a Medicare scam, but who am I to question the professionals?

The reason I need to see an Otolaryngologist is that back in October I would have this crinkling in my ears every fifty seconds and for the ten seconds of crinkling I would have vertigo. Even without a medical degree, I knew that something just wasn’t right, hence the trip to the doctor who requested a visit to the audiologist who will I assume decide if I can be admitted into the presence of the Otolaryngologist. I’m kind of getting excited!

Of course the symptoms have long since disappeared. Well, I’m not sure if they have disappeared or I have become so used to them that they are now my normal. I still have my tinnitus, so maybe one of the specialists will be able to give me some advice on how to deal with that. I have had advice, but I’m hoping for better than “Nothing we can do about it. Just live with it.” I do just live with it, but sometimes tinnitus can get worse and drive a person to madness or suicide. There is speculation that many of the people who hear voices are actually suffering from tinnitus.

Joan of Arc is thought to have had tinnitus which became her instructions from God. Now, as cool as it would be to dress in armour, ride a horse and lead an army into a battle for God, I think I would prefer to sit in Tim Horton’s drinking coffee. That is just me being an underachiever I suppose.

I am looking forward to the next three weeks. Normally when I have an appointment with a doctor, my symptoms will disappear and I will be at my healthiest on the day. I’ve been feeling shitty for so long, that it will be nice to feel good, even for an hour or so.

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