Tuesday 25 February 2014


Well, I went to see my favourite dentist, Dr. Julie today. I know it sounds as if I have numerous dentists that I go to on a rotating basis, but that just isn’t true. My teeth are bad enough to have a team of dental professionals on call, but I am a one dentist guy. Well, one at a time.
 I just had a check up scheduled for today, but it’s been my experience that a check up will generally lead to bad news and thousands of dental plan dollars. On the plus side, with the price of gold the way it is, I have a mouthful of hidden assets. I have mentioned to those near and dear to me that when I die, they should mine my mouth for precious metals to offset the funeral costs. It kind of weirds them out, but why should the guy at the crematorium get a couple of thousand in gold for the price of a pair of Powerfist lineman’s pliers? I’ll grant you that it might be a tad gruesome, but not everything in life is pretty. I’ve put it out there, but it will ultimately be up to the kids and grandkids. I think Tornado will have the stomach for it, and he is good with tools.
I had a more or less good check up. I have been taking care of my teeth so there is no new deterioration. It only took me about 55 years to figure out how to avoid all of the pain and misery involved in dental procedures. Yay me! That being said, I will have to go back for a new crown if the insurance company decides it will cover the work. What happens is that most of these things will last about ten years before the glue or cement or receding gums determine that a replacement is in order. There is a tiny cavity under the crown that needs to be taken care of. There is nothing I could do about it, or so I’m told.

From now on, I am going to get smart before I make an appointment with the dentist. I plan to get in the habit of calling the receptionist on a regular basis just to chat. I’ll ask her about her life and kids, how she is feeling and how everyone else in the office is getting along. Eventually she will be comfortable enough to give me some real useful information, like if Dr. Julie is planning a major purchase or expensive holiday in the near future. That way I can avoid funding her purchase or holiday, let some other sucker pay the tab.

I had a dentist once that would talk over a half wall with his colleague in the next cubical about their investments, new cars, boats and even how much the ex wife took them for in the divorce. I could tell by the way the conversation was going just how much work I was in for. Bastards!

I wish I could say that at least I will have a lovely smile after all of the work, but the days of me having a lovely smile have long gone. I am in a holding pattern now, trying not to grind my teeth right down to the gums. The last time I was there, I got an appliance and I brought it back for a visit this time. They clean it and make any minor adjustments that need adjusting. I didn’t know that my appliance would also make the rounds of the office so that everyone could see just how hard I grind my teeth and that I have a tendency to grind to the right. I guess the good thing is that the appliance is taking the beating, not my poor nubs of teeth.

Well, now I wait for the insurance guys and then back to Dr. Julie to buy her a summer home or at the very least a new car. 

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