Saturday, 18 February 2012

Mall Rat






I was caught up watching TV and had to drag myself away to write tonight. I wasn’t watching anything that was particularly interesting or in any way gripping, but there I was and now here I am. To tell you the truth, I would much rather be there.


I have had a long and taxing day. It started out quite early looking through the phone book for a plumber that would come and fix/replace our water heater. I did say phone book, for those of you that use Canada 411 exclusively to look up people and numbers. There is just something about those thick yellow books that are printed on crappy paper to give you a sense that you are actually doing the looking and not some mindless machine. You can look at the ads the companies have put in the book and can get a sense of who they are and what they stand for. You hope they stand for honesty, integrity and a dollars work for a dollars pay. The reality is, that is what the copywriter wants you to think and if they could get the gold flecks out of your eyes they would be on your chest, thumb deep in your eye sockets.


I called one company and the price they quoted was so much that I could have flown my buddy in from Vancouver Island, bought the materials and taken him out for a very good meal. When did plumbers start to work Monday to Friday and charge overtime on the weekend? Broken plumbing isn’t a nine to five kind of happening. I know that everyone has to make a living. The guy that did come and replace the water heater (Frank’s Plumbing 403-2751830) was reasonable. That “reasonable” reads like reasonable, but was said in my mind like this reeeson….abllllleee(?). He was thorough and friendly and did his job with skill. He has been a plumber for thirty years and only told me to stop taking once. I am just cheap and pissed that the old hot water heater didn’t last for the rest of my life.


I guess that come tomorrow, I will have to call the insurance company to assess the damage to the floor. Not too much I don’t think, but you just never know and I have been paying premiums for the better part of my life. More bullshit to come…


I went to pick up my new glasses today and while I was there I picked up a couple of things at the Walmart. There are a couple of malls that I just love to go to in the city. One is Market Mall in the NW and the other is Southcentre Mall in the SE. Both of these malls are clean, well kept up and the stores are unique and interesting. Oh, sure they have the regular kind of mall stores but they also have Disney stores and Lego stores. I guess what I am saying is that there are places that I as a man can go into and spend some time looking while Louise is doing the serious shopping. The other thing I like about these malls is that they seem to be populated with beautiful people. Every one there seems to believe that a trip to the mall is an occasion to look and dress nice and an occasion to be happy about. They even let me stay.


Yes, I love those malls! However, that isn’t where I went today. I went to Marlborough Mall where the only unique thing would be the bullet holes in the walls. For some reason, everyone there seems to be wearing the last day clothes. You know the clothes you wear on the last possible day before you absolutely HAVE to do the laundry. You would swear that this is where all of the ugly people that lived near the nice malls come to shop. In a way I don’t blame them because I always feel out of place at the nice malls. When you go to Marlborough Mall it is always hard to find a good parking spot, and by good I mean one with plenty of walk by traffic that might deter anyone trying to break into your car. The good thing about the mall is that you are in and out, no hanging around to watch the people. The glasses were fine by the way. They passed the “Arwen” test which means she didn’t laugh out loud. It is this kind of thing that gives me a reason to get up in the morning…sort of.


The rest of the day was taken up with Hurricane and Tornado. Hurricane wasn’t feeling too well so he went home with his mom and dad, while Tornado is having a sleep over. I hope he sleeps well into tomorrow.

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