Thursday 9 February 2012

The Death Knell Of Mankind

I haven’t often taken on a project that can’t be completed in a couple of days. I suppose that I just don’t have the patience for that kind of long term commitment. Whenever I do commit, I become fully immersed until I have completed the project to my satisfaction. Lately, I feel that I could do a long term project and stick with it till the end. Knowing me, I am sure that I will write about it if there is any success to be had.

A friend from facebook has been working on a project for the past few months, and from what I understand it will be completed tomorrow. There have been a few mishaps over the intervening months, which can only be expected, but nothing that has had any impact in a negative way. No, the project is on time and is sure to be greatly appreciated and loved by all.

LeighAnne is scheduled to give birth to a beautiful baby girl sometime tomorrow by caesarean section. Everyone is really excited and I think that LeighAnne just wants to get on with the next stage of the project. From reading her facebook comments, I gather that having the birth date planned in advance is preferable to not knowing and having the conventional birth. Our kids were all caesarean births and they were beautiful, perfect babies with perfectly shaped heads. I wish you well LeighAnne and send prayers for a wonderful day.


Having been nice for a couple of paragraphs isn’t easy for me. I just can’t imagine what it would be like to give birth. I deal with other peoples pain really well, but I am not too keen on pain when I am the one suffering. I have heard women say they would rather have the caesarean section as opposed to the natural childbirth because it is easier. Just how painful is natural childbirth, when being gutted like a fish is preferable? Jeez! It is a wonder that our species hasn’t died out. Sex is nice and all that, but there is no way it is worth all of that pain. I’m not even taking into account how unpleasant a pregnancy can be.

One thing is certain; if the male of the species had to give birth we would have figured an easier way by now. Men tend to be lazy and don’t particularly like pain, unless we can get hurt during a game or in a fight. It isn’t really a sport unless there is a chance that someone’s ear will be ripped off, nose broken or the skin on knees and elbows scrapped down to muscle. That is okay, because right afterwards you can numb the pain with beer. You don’t see women getting shit faced in the recovery room. No, as I said, we men would have figured an easier way of propagating, one that didn’t involve personal discomfort, but did involve lots of beer.

I actually have a theory if you would care to hear it…No? Well, too bad. I believe that in the dark recesses of time when Homo Sapiens were indistinguishable from all of the other terrified animals scurrying for cover so that the dinosaurs would eat the slower less evolved mammals. The survivors (more cowardly) had the opportunity to be fruitful and multiply. I think that at this time, both genders were capable of giving birth and shared the responsibility of pregnancy and child rearing. This is why men still have breasts, and why we are often referred to as useless tits. The males didn’t much like the more unpleasant parts of reproduction, so we just decided that we would participate in the fertilizing part (fun stuff) but leave the birthing part to the females. I am kind of fuzzy on how we actually quit the birthing game; I just know that we did. Thanks great, great, great, great, great…grandpa.  So far, I think it has worked out splendidly and my only concern is that the females might one day tell us that they are done with reproduction, and that we have to take our turn now. That day will be the death knell of mankind. It is possible that it could happen this year on December 21.

1 comment:

  1. Oh great another 2012 theory do worry about, I think I'll wait for the movie ! B