Monday 18 July 2011

I See You

I think that I am starting to fade.

No, I haven’t gone on some TV diet plan and I certainly haven’t begun one of the Nazi boot camp things, where you are treated like dirt until you lose fifty pounds. If I want to be treated like dirt, I have my friends!

I am talking about physically fading. I nearly broke my nose a few weeks ago walking into an automatic door. It just wouldn’t open for me, and since it was the only way in to the store, I had to wait for someone else to come by. This hasn’t happened just once, but many times with varying amounts visibility. Sometimes I have to wave my hands and move from side to side to get the door to work. Yes, I do look sort of like a moron when I do this. If I concentrate as I am walking up to the door and say in my mind “I am real and I am solid, the door will open for me... I am real and I am solid, the door will open for me...” then it will generally work.

This problem isn’t limited to electric doors, but to people as well. Just the other day, Louise and I were going into Superstore to pick up a few items and a woman nearly ran me down with her cart! I could understand if I stepped out from one aisle to the next, because accidents do happen. No, this was in the entrance door. Yes, the door did work for me, or maybe it worked for this woman, but she just pointed the cart right where I was standing and I had to jump out of the way! Of course Louise thought that this was really funny. I love to make her laugh; perhaps someday she will get to see me drive off of a cliff.

We finish our shopping and do the self check out because I am not sure the cashiers would see me. I grab the basket and as I am walking towards the door a lady runs into me! Not the same lady, I checked. Now, understand that neither of these women even acknowledged my existence, it was as if I didn’t exist. I know I exist, because I am with me all of the time! Louise thought that this second “run in” was just too funny. Once was funny, but twice is hilarious!

Today walking up to the library a kid on a bike clipped me with his handle bar. I am not small enough for someone to think they could pass me on the sidewalk, so I have to assume he just didn’t see me. People step in front of me in lines all of the time. When I tap them on the shoulder and say "There is a line", they apologize and say that they just didn’t see me. What is this bullshit?

If my time on the planet is up, then let me go the normal way. I don’t want to be a living, breathing, walking ghost!

I kind of started to think that it might just be a super power of sorts. I tested the invisibility out in a bank (got stopped before I managed to get behind the counter), Tim’s (no free coffee or donut) and the changing room at La Senza. Alas it was all to no avail. If it is a superpower, then I can only use it for good and who wants that?

I guess I will just have to live with being ignored and run into by friends and strangers alike. That’s just part and parcel of being a fader in a solid world. Just remember the next time you are coming out of the shower, there may be someone watching that doesn’t have to use his power for good, or perhaps I may have perfected my power.

You may not see me, but I will see you...

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