Saturday, 12 September 2015

Spend The Day in The Bathroom

I don’t know why, but I just can’t seem to get into writing the blog lately. You don’t think that I have nothing left to say do you? Perhaps I have passed on all the wisdom that I managed to accumulate during my lifetime and now I am just an empty husk. Actually, there wasn’t a lot of wisdom per se, it was more along the lines of “Do what I say, not what I do.”

I am going on a trip for a couple of weeks and I don’t know if I will be able to find the time to write on a regular basis. When you are visiting someone and staying at their home it is generally accepted that you will at least try to be a pleasant and entertaining guest. I don’t know if I am up to the task, but I will give it the old college try. We are going back to Southern Ontario to visit and I will be attending my high schools 50th anniversary. You don’t think they will have kept records from 40 years ago do you? I hope not or this could be an embarrassing trip.

There is a good possibility that it will be embarrassing anyways. I am no different than everyone else; I tend to have selective memories that shine a positive light on my behaviour. The truth is I don’t think anyone will even remember me.

“Yeah, I sat behind you in Mr. Bensky’s geography class.”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“How can you not remember me? One day I was so drunk I puked all over you.”

“Are you sure it was me?”

“Yeah, your dad is a lawyer and put a restraining order on me. I had to drop Geography and eat lunch by myself in the bathroom because I couldn’t come within 100 feet of you.”

“Were you a girl back then?”

“NO!”

“Sorry, you must be thinking of someone else. Please keep away from me, my father is a lawyer.”

“I KNOW!!”


Maybe I will just spend the day in the bathroom.

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