I Believe

Just an update on the raisins. They taste like shit! It seems to me that it should be one of those intuitive things that has been hardwired into us from generation upon generation of hunter gatherers. You take some fruit, pretty much any fruit should do, and you let it dry. Well, I am here to tell you that it doesn’t seem to be that simple. I may try to do this again, well, after the awful taste has left my mouth.

I believe in a lot of unbelievable things.

I believe in Santa and the feeling of joy that comes at the same time each year.

I believe there is a reason that we are on the earth, and it isn’t just for fertilizer.

I believe there is someone on this planet for everyone. Even the cold hearted bastards that should be forced to eat their own testicles. Eg. - Eva Braun

I believe that birds can be evil, especially magpies.

I believe that the world is going to Hell faster now than it ever did before.

I believe that most people mean to be good, but they are just really bad at being good.

I believe that I can use mind control to lose weight. So far I’ve had no luck by the way.

I believe that my computer is going to die at the most inappropriate time.

I believe that the grass on the front lawn will eventually grow. Just not in my lifetime.

I believe we all turn into our parents. In my case, the new, improved version.

I believe that I can get at least two more years out of the shingles on the roof.

I believe that all people are born lucky. Most are lucky at things that don’t matter.

I believe that if I find a penny and pick it up, all the day I will have good luck.

I believe that trees grow like they do in order to collect and disperse rain.

I believe that dust likes to live indoors. You rarely see it outside.

I believe that as you get older you should think of yourself as older.

I believe politicians are bastards. Not all of them…yes, all of them.

I believe you have friends to make you feel good about yourself.

I believe you have family so that you don’t feel too good about yourself.

I believe that a good teacher is worth their weight in gold.

I believe that I would like to have my weight in gold.

I believe that some medicines will only work if you believe they will.

I believe that we will be driving electric cars just as soon as all of the oil is used up.

I believe that the oil will be used up before electric cars are ready.

I believe all good things come to those who wait…I’m waiting!

I believe I stepped in something because there is this smell…

I believe in clouds, but I have never had a ride in one.

I believe I can do amazing things. I just don’t want to.

I believe in belief.