Monday, 14 May 2012

Getting Head on Easter Island

One of the things that I miss about working is that I am no longer in the loop. Things happen and I just don’t get a chance to comment about how wonderful/horrible it is.
I am still surprisingly well informed about all things postal, but the longer I am away the less I hear because my informants are getting older and either out of the loop themselves or they are the ones causing the problems. Whenever I meet an old friend, I engage in conversation about life and love at the post office. To tell the truth, I care less and less as the years march on. I do have a juicy bit of gossip that I picked up, but I don’t have anyone to talk to about it. I will be working for the post office in a couple of weeks and I will spend most of my “work” time with visiting and catching up.

I am one of those people that other people like to confide in. I guess I have a face that says “I care” when in reality I am saying “What the fuck are you telling this to me for. I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire!” Perhaps it is the blank stare and the nodding at what seems to be appropriate times. During most conversations I am just biding my time waiting for a lull in the babbling so that I can say something that I find interesting about whatever the topic is. I do like to tell people things that I discover and I just want to share. Okay, I really want to be the first to pass on whatever bit of information that I have.

It comes as a bit of a shock to find that not everyone is like me. Not everyone likes me, but that is the subject of another blog. Louise is a prime example. I will be talking to one of the kids and find out that they are getting a new job/car/child/house/vacuum/tattoo or any number of other minor things that can happen in a persons life, and when I get off the phone I will say to Louise, “Did you know that Arwen is getting a new job/car/child/house/vacuum/tattoo?”

Louise will look up and say “Yeah, she told me last week.”

“Last week? How is it that I am just now hearing about it? Don’t you think I would be interested?”

Louise says “Well, no one is stopping you from talking to your kids, you are home all day and you could call them and ask what’s happening.”

That is true, but what about being the first to tell the gossip? Like I say, not everyone is like me. They are nuts, and don’t even care if they are in the loop or not.

Last week I got an email about the statues on Easter Island. I have seen photos of these heads all of my life and am amazed by them. How bored would you have to be to make these monolithic monuments? I can only assume that the island was filled with old retired guys that had some kind of a crane and an excess of energy. In the email there were pictures of these heads but they have discovered that they have bodies which are buried in the ground. I thought the carved heads were nuckin’ futs, but to carve bodies and them bury them up to the neck, that takes fucked up to a whole new level.

The first thing I did was to call my son to tell him about these bodies that were attached to the heads. I said “Hey Brendan, you know those heads on Easter Island?”

Before I could say another word he said “Is this about the bodies?” “Ahhhh….yeah. Did you know about this?” He told me he did and I wished him a good day and hung up the phone. How long have people known about this? Could it be that I am the last guy in Canada to know? That is a pretty good bit of gossip that no one told me about. Have they been teaching this in the schools for the past thirty years? I am going to have to start reading more than the entertainment section.

I wonder what else I don’t know? I was just watching the TV and there is talk about John Travolta being gay. WTF? How could he be and why would he hide it if he were? If you are privy to news similar to Easter Island or John Travolta, don’t assume that I know, let me know!
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/gossip/la-et-mg-john-travolta-sexual-harassment-lawsuit-20120514,0,1584974.story
I am so deep in the dark that for all I know, John Travolta may be getting head on Easter Island.

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