Saturday 7 January 2012


I was talking to my son today and he told me that his wife was very sick. She had been up all night with what is suspected to be food poisoning. I of course was very sympathetic as is my way. Okay, the first thing I did was to laugh. No, I am not as callous as you might think, I laughed because she was doing a food review at a restaurant at the time. Now, it isn’t fair to mention the eatery, but I think that it is safe to say the review wouldn’t have been positive. She has taken the high road and decided to not do a review, but had my son call and inform them of what happened.

That would have to rank right up there with the health inspector finding rats in the kitchen for a restaurateur.

I imagine that the owner is just as sick as she is, with visions of his dream crashing about him. Well, I hope that Tara is feeling better by now and that no one else suffers from food poisoning.

Not surprisingly, this got me to thinking about the times that I have been driving the porcelain bus, feeding the fish, hugging the white wishing well, liquid laughing, tossing your cookies or upchucking. The last one reminds me of a guy I used to work with, and I think of him every time I am spilling my guts on the sidewalk. Hi Brian!

I almost never have an upset stomach and I credit my dad (old iron guts) for passing on his admirable genes. He would eat whatever deplorable thing that was put in front of him and always with a smile and a compliment to the cook. I figure it was because when he was in prison camp during the war he ate bread that was half sawdust and most of the root vegetables were rotten. There was rarely any meat which is probably a good thing. I have been sick at times during my life and sometimes had what we called the stomach flu. I would imagine that it was really food poisoning, but we were less sophisticated then. Being actually ill and puking really doesn’t count, because it is really outside of your control.

The situations that should be in your control and the ones that stand out in my mind were the ones usually brought on by over indulging in alcoholic beverages. I find it interesting how things that I normally wouldn’t do sober, make sense when I am drunk. Having a drinking contest with a guy named Detroit. Driving to Detroit. Or going out in a snowstorm to look for a guy in his underwear that took off an hour earlier on a snowmobile, only to find him with six other guys on snowmobiles in their underwear. Cooling my forehead on the toilet bowl and splashing the water on my face. I have even selected the person that is least drunk drive to the next party. I’ve thrown up on the passenger side of the car so that no one will notice. The list just goes on and on, and I am not a drinker. I can’t imagine the tales a real two fisted drinker would have.

It has been a number of years since I have been “feeding the fishes” and I really hope that it is many more. Most things in life can serve as a lesson but when you are trying to turn your insides outside the lesson is oft times hidden. The lesson that I learned from Tara is that I don’t want to learn this lesson again. Thanks????

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