Sunday 28 August 2011

Fuck You Mr.Zoo!

“FUCK YOU Mr. Zoo!” is what I saw as I was flipping through my little notebook when I was looking for a friends email address. Thoughts of the friend just disappeared as I tried to remember why I had written that.

It is a pretty catchy phrase, succinct and to the point. Someone is obviously upset with Mr. Zoo. What kind of a name is Mr. Zoo anyways? It sounds like a character from Dr. Seuss. I always liked to read Dr. Seuss to the kids when they were little, and their favourite was “The Lorax”. Okay, it was my favourite, being an old hippie and all. We had (and still have) the whole Seuss collection, pretty battered and much worse for the wear. I read them to the grandkids when I get a chance.

When I read to them, I would read in odd little voices. I know that I have an odd little voice myself, but the voices that I read in would be even odder if that were possible. I just loved the way everything sort of rhymed and one seemingly common everyday occurrence could morph into the most bizarre, outlandish tale which would usually end right back at the beginning. Brilliant!

Now, “FUCK YOU Mr. Zoo” sounds like something that I would write, if I were to try and emulate Dr. Seuss. Every now and then I think that someone will pick up the mantle from Dr. Seuss and write wonderful and imaginative stories that not only took you on a flight of fancy, but sometimes even had a moral. I don’t personally buy the whole Grinch transformation, but it is well loved and has now become a staple of Christmas TV.

Whenever I try and fail
I will weep and wail.
When life is giving me a licking
And I just can’t keep ticking.

I need someone reliable to blame
And it must always be the same.
It can’t be me
And it can’t be you.

The man of the hour
The man with the power.
To free us from blame
He is always the same.

I’ll solve my problem for sure
To blame one with no peer.
It will work for you too
Just say “FUCK YOU” Mr. Zoo!

Okay, I will admit that I need to polish it and a few cutesy cartoon people or animals would be good, but the bones are good. No, I guess not. Tell you what, I will keep working on it and until I have it the way I like it I will appoint someone to fill in for Mr. Zoo. Say, now that I think about it, the perfect replacement would be YOU!


  1. So how much catnip did you smoke last night? B

  2. Now that you mention it, there may have been some effects from paint fumes and spending hours in the hot sun.

  3. Ahhh painting in the hot sun, now there's something I hate doing. I much prefered the walk along the beach we had yesterday in the hot sun. B