Tuesday 13 January 2015

Zombies Are Not Real

I was talking to my daughter the other day and for some odd reason the topic of zombies came up. I am not now nor have I ever been a fan of the undead. I have always thought that it is a pretty weak plot line and rarely if ever is frightening. The very thought of some shuffling, creatures come back from the dead is ludicrous. However, for some inexplicable reason there are millions of people who watch different film and television versions of the undead. Crazy!

My daughter mentioned a friend of hers that has supplies in her basement in preparation for the zombie apocalypse. THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE! This person really, really believes in zombies. So much so that she has acquired the tools and supplies necessary to battle the undead.  I just don’t get it.

I was talking to a friend about what TV shows we watch and he is a big fan of “The Walking Dead”. I’ve heard that it is a very interesting show and well done. I’ll have to take his word for it because I have zero interest. Maybe someday I will apologize to everyone for slamming the undead, but not today. My buddy was telling me that if zombies were real it would be like they are in “The Walking Dead”. I said “…yeah, but they aren’t real.” He said …”but if they were real.” I starred at him in disbelief and reiterated “But they aren’t real and never have been real.” “…but if they were…”
I can almost believe in vampires because there are a species of bat that does actually suck blood. I’ve been swimming and come out of the lake with blood suckers all over my body. My mommy rubbed salt on them so that they would drop off and I didn’t swim in that lake for weeks. God that was creepy! So I get the fear of blood sucking monsters. My blood sucking monsters were an inch to three inches long and I have since learned that they can have a health benefit. I hope that I don’t live long enough for a doctor to put leeches on my body for any reason.
There has never been an animal, insect, bird or fish that dies and comes back to life looking to seek vengeance on the living. Bears will hibernate and can get pretty cranky if they don’t get a coffee and Danish when they first wake up, but hibernation isn’t dead. For those of you whack jobs out there, there have been two instances of a human coming back to life after they died. One was Lazarus whom Jesus brought back to life after four days. He was living proof that Jesus had the power over death. I have a little trouble with this, but I don’t disbelieve it or believe it. I would like to believe it though.

Of course the other famous human to come back to life after dying was Jesus himself. He came back and then was taken bodily into heaven. Well according to the New Testament anyways. I’d like to believe this one too.

You may have noticed that in neither of the two cases did the person involved come after the living. No one ate anyone’s brains and to the best of my recollection they were both pretty nice people (divine) after their resurrections.

I don’t claim to know very much, but I do know that zombies are not real!

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