Friday 16 January 2015

Happy or Sad

What makes one person happy and the next sad?
When I was little, my grandmother worried that I wasn’t a happy child and I have heard that she referred to me as “solemn Ken”. I don’t think that I was a particularly sad child, I just kept a lot inside. I was the second child and it is possible that anything I had to say had been said already. If I am to be totally honest, I suspect I felt a little disconnected with pretty much everything. Maybe everyone is like that, maybe that is the thing in life that I need to work on. Maybe the key to life is to somehow learn to cope with being disconnected.

Interestingly, I am getting very uncomfortable thinking about this. It might be that even though I believe myself to be happy, I am just happy on the surface. It is kind of like pudding that has been in the refrigerator for three days and has leather like skin on the top but is still soft and squishy underneath.

I think I’m done for tonight. It doesn’t make me happy or sad, it just is.

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