Wednesday 28 January 2015

Facebook is Like Dancing

Every now and then on facebook I get little placards that say something like “If you love someone in heaven re-post this on your timeline for 24 hours”

I understand the sentiment behind it, and I don’t fault anyone for remembering the ones they love in their own way, but I don’t want to hear about it on facebook. There are some people in Heaven that I love and who were taken far too soon and a few others that weren’t taken soon enough for my liking. Sorry for your loss people, I hope that you have nothing but happy memories of your loved one.

The facebook entries that really get my goat are those stupid ones that say “Share if you love your son/daughter/wife.” or “Share if you have a beautiful daughter.” I keep wanting to write “I do love my son and one of my daughters, but the other one is a whirling bitch most of the time and I just don’t care for her at all.” I can’t say that because it isn’t true and even if it were I would hate for the good one to think I didn’t like her. Even if you have a dog faced monkey for a kid you would have to say they are beautiful or else everyone on facebook would think you were a complete ass. I am, but I don’t want everyone on facebook to think that.

Oh yeah, I don’t like the ones that say “I know 99.99999% of you won’t share this, but let’s see who are good, kind and caring people.” Then there is some long winded story about someone who is fighting cancer and if you really cared you would help this person go viral before they lose their battle with cancer. Well, shit! Who doesn’t want to be that .00001% of the population who cares if this dying kid gets his last wish? If you could actually help the person get healthy, I would go for it, but by the time I got the facebook notification, that person is generating those “If you love someone in heaven re-post this on your timeline for 24 hours”.

Let’s see, what else don’t I like about facebook? I don’t care about your shitty Monday or that you couldn’t get enough sleep because your baby was sick. I do, but there is nothing I can do about it and we all went through it with our kids. I kind of like the idea that someone else is losing sleep because of a sick kid. I’d hate to think it was just Louise and I who lost sleep. Well, Louise lost sleep; I pretty much slept through everything. The Monday thing…suck it up, everyone has to go to work on Monday. Well, I don’t. Heheheheheheh.

I couldn’t care less about your commute or those petty work problems. You have a job, be thankful.

I like to see jokes and entertaining videos. It is nice to hear that you had a great day or went to a concert. I do hate it when you are in a tropical place and I’m not, but I want to see that too. Just show me the happy things in your life on facebook. If you need to talk about the darkness, that is better done person to person and I am available if you need me.

I know that everyone will keep doing what they want to do on facebook. Maybe facebook is like dancing, you should facebook like no one is watching…

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