Tuesday 6 January 2015

Friends and Enemies 1

I just read a Facebook post that said “True friends go long periods of time without speaking and never question the friendship”

I don’t doubt the truth behind this, and I have friends that it applies to. There was a time during the time I was entangled in child raising when I was too busy to keep in touch with my friends. I wasn’t too busy; I was just too lazy and have never been a very good correspondent. I sent cards at Christmas and made sure to send my best wishes if I were talking to a mutual friend. I don’t feel guilty at all because friendship is a two way street and if I were busy then I know they also were busy. Life always seems to get in the way of good intentions.

A number of years ago now, I decided that I should reach out and contact some of these people I hadn’t talked to in a number of years. The idea had some merit, and some success, but some of the people I contacted were slightly suspicious as to why I was getting in touch at this point in time. I can imagine that throughout the entire conversation they were waiting for the “real” reason behind the call. I should have asked for bail money. That’s when you know who your true friends are, if they are willing to spring you from the slammer. Okay, a “real” friend will help you dispose of a body, no questions asked. I am lucky enough to have a couple of those…I think.

I hadn’t talked to one of the guys since a few years after high school and I wasn’t sure if he would even remember me at all. The moment he picked up the phone and said “Hi Ken, how are you doing?” I knew things were good between us. I was kind of amazed that he knew it was me just from the sound of my voice, but then I knew his voice. It was as if no time had passed at all. I suppose that somewhere there is a study that deals with voice memory and its significance in the overall recall process. The mechanics don’t really matter, as long as a good friend stays a good friend.

I called an old girlfriend with the hopes of Louise and I getting together with her and her husband and swapping a few old memories. From the initial phone call she seemed very reluctant to renew any kind of contact at all. I didn’t really understand, sure there was a little emotion when we split, but that was decades ago and hopefully we have both found our soul mates. There is a reunion this coming year at the old high school and maybe we can make eye contact in the hall, say “S’up?” and go about our separate ways. There should be people there that won’t be an effort to talk to. People whose voices I remember very well.

I was just looking at the first paragraph to try and remember where I was going with this blog and I realized that the same thing can be said about people you don’t like. “True enemies go long periods of time without speaking and never question their relationship”. Perhaps this is one of those light/dark, good/bad, yin/yang things. We are all part of the whole and friends and enemies are just different facets of the same gem. I know my enemies are part of a hole.

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