Monday 25 November 2013

Those Creepy Hairless Cats

I shaved the hair off of my arm today. Well, the part of my arm between my wrist and elbow, and just the left arm. I also took a few layers of skin which I didn’t intend at all.

I don’t normally shave my arms or really any part of my body on a regular basis. I do shave my cheeks (on the face) and the upper part of my neck from time to time. I am not a big fan of shaving, the idea of bringing a razor sharp…razor; anywhere near my body is really pretty frightening, especially the first thing in the morning. I’ve used the so called “safety razors” in the past and they are anything but safe. I ended up with more bits of toilet paper on my face than there was left on the roll. I did have some success with electric razors in the past, but they would get dull and eventually they would end up just ripping the hairs off of my face. Very pleasant!
I mentioned before that I bought a straight razor at the second hand store a while back and I actually had the thing up to my neck before the small, sane part of my brain put a stop to the whole silly idea. I have visions of blood spurting out of my neck and me trying to stop it with a little bit of toilet paper.

The reason I was shaving my arm today is that I was sharpening some tools. Three planes and six chisels needed to be touched up. They say that a dull tool is more dangerous than a sharp one, but a sharp one can cut you and you don’t realize it until you see blood on your project. I don’t know how other people sharpen things, but I use a couple of stones, a buffing wheel and finally a strop. If I have done a good job, there will be a mirror finish on the tool and it will shave the hair off of my arm.
Normally, I will do just one or two tools at a time, so my arm gets a chance to reforest itself by the next time I dull a tool. Its winter and I will more than likely be wearing long sleeve shirts for the foreseeable future. I can explain why I have an arm as smooth as a babies bum to my buddies, but I would prefer to just avoid the conversation entirely.

I suppose the good thing is that I have so little body hair to begin with, that it is unlikely anyone would notice a missing bit. Maegan was dating a guy once and at the time I was riding my bike more than I do now. I rode up to them and he asked if I shaved my legs for bike racing. I didn’t have a response back then, and I still don’t have a response after all of these years.  

I suppose I am the human equivalent of the Chihuahua or one of those creepy hairless cats.

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